Well, I think so…and so do people who give out nifty, shiny web awards I’ll bet. Not that those interest me (read: won 27) but they never hurt. I wanted something that wasn’t so “non-10”, and frankly I was rather bored of looking at myself on every page in that goofy, “Hey, look what’s down MY pants!” shot. I figured the “me scaling the wall of 10 and staring at you with that look of “do it…DO IT…!” was not only more effective, but pretty damn funny-looking.

My business coach disagreed, saying, “Jon’ that jeans pic is your money shot!” I said, “Brett, that’s my phallic shot.” Then I ate him. He didn’t like my monkey fantasy, or my insect/diet theory, so it was “three strikes and your din-din”. It’s a law here in Texas. I think. Isn’t it? (No?…oh…hmmm. Then don’t tell anyone, okay? Good.) Strange, given my rather bizarre and twisted mind, the phallic aspect never entered my gray matter during that photoshoot. No, really.

That’s how dehydrated I was.

I’ve answered this before, but yes…those were my jeans. I had a pair 4 sizes larger, but I tossed them to Good Will. Man, I wish I had those around!

We’ll be adding some way, way, way, way, way, way, way, way, way, way (keep going until you run out of ways) cool things to the blog in the next few weeks. As of now, you have yourself an almost-ultra-cool search feature. And there was much rejoicing.

We had a cheesy version of a search before, but it would only search the actual entries and not the comments. And you KNOW how much I love my comments. Not to mention that our previous search didn’t allow for words to be highlighted and other Googleish niceties.

Ray (my HTML genius, perfectionist, code monkey, friend, colleague, lover, Canook and confidant in all things BLOG pitched in and really knocked this one out of Code Monkey Park. (Yes, I jumped on the back of the nearest Code Monkey…like I said, I’m curious. Despite the fact this isn’t my last day on earth, I am looking for Claire Forlani. Oprah, if you’re reading this, please find her, bathe her, and mail her to me first-class. Forever in your debt, Jon.)

That took a left turn, eh?

Now, we spared no expense for this search feature (read: free.) The code was trash, and you have to put up with near-spam from the provider. Oh, and please, ignore all those ads at the top of the search page. They suck. Really. S-U-C-K. Click on one and I’ll hunt you down like the click-on-an-ad-link dog that you are. Still, I deemed it mandatory. After all, how else can you be expected to find every reference of the following words/terms, which I KNOW you you lay awake at night dreaming about? —

M-Power

Fit Over 40

LifeAssess

Burn The Fat, Feed The Muscle

Bugs

Glass

Conspiracy

Spank me

Protein

MasterMeals

Claire Forlani (God, that’s getting old…)

“Most doctors suck” (don’t forget the ” “)

And other such must-have-or-life-ceases-to-have-meaning-type stuff. So, there you go…you can thank me by sending money or used postage stamps.

Other Freakin’ Cool Features Of The New And Improved 10-in-10 Blog

Greedy little devils, aren’t you? Well, I anticipated that…so, check it:

• Your comments have some ‘style’ added to them. In a few days we’ll add a new style to ‘my’ comments back to you making them very easy to find. As you know, I love the comments…they’re often a blog within the blog, so this feature will really help you guys search down my pithy answers and then…well, that’s really it.
• Note if you will the clean, almost aerodynamic and ever-so-not-very-subtle buy this sidebar. I put groovy logos in there…that means it’s a real product, ya know.
• My soon-to-be-never-infamous “Stuff That Sucks” list. Do just as the header tells you — flee this. The list will be ongoing, and by the end of 10, you may require a good 10 minutes of scrolling just to read the darn thing.
• An easier access to historical blogs…and a “click here” for first-timers.
• Coming soon: a photo gallery. Yeah, baby…that means YOU, too!
• The other stuff that’s cool is really just for us web geeks.

Now, on to the second ‘challenge’ entry, and this isn’t nearly as fun: my personal challenge; i.e. the one I’m still facing.

As promised to you and myself, I woke up, re-shifted my thinking back to that of a bodybuilder, got my mental Jackson together (Jackson is another word for s—t), and I trained yesterday. Had a blast, too. Hit it hard. Still girly, but less girly than the past few workouts. Progression, man, progression.

The challenge is the lightheadedness that still follows my workouts. The first two had none to speak of; this one did. It was no where near the severity of the past year — that was so severe it forced me to quit training completely. Still, for about 45 minutes after the session, that old brain fog and “get up, grab something” stuff kicked in again.

The organic food is helping tremendously, but it’s not enough — and I believe I know what the problem is. This next week begins my alchemy. Thin the blood at all costs.

This means niacin therapy, higher fish oil intake, some funky herbs, and…oh boy…EDTA chelation therapy.

I’ll talk more about EDTA in another blog, but the short story is that EDTA is Roto-Rooter for the arteries. Still not approved by the FDA (no, NO! Shock of the century!! Tell me it isn’t so!!!), chelation with EDTA has been used successfully for decades in Europe for heart disease and other ailments (no, NO! Shock of the century!! Tell me it isn’t so!!!) EDTA is a great but painstaking way of flushing the junk out of the gunk.

No, I do not have heart disease…but each of us have ‘some’ blockages and hardening in our arteries. Autopsies performed on babies showed blockages already beginning to form — so much for the Lipitor/cholesterol theory. Don’t get me started.

My suspicions are two-fold: first, I have narrowed vessels in the brain that are not preventing enough hemoglobin during the blood pressure/heart rate “decreases” which occur post-exercise. Note: my lightheadedness is ‘not’ during exercise…big difference, and that would lead to different conclusions. This hemoglobin is crucial to feed the neuron-tissues sufficient oxygen. Thick blood (high fibrinogen and triglycerides and heavy metals) would be a causative factor in this, as would be the hardening/narrowing of the already microscopic little pathways that feed the brain.

Second, I suspect the carotid artery has some of the same gunk in it. Again, this can be roto-rootered out (not with real Roto-Rooter, just in case you’re a mindless, scum-chewing, blithering idiot…wow. How’s that for a legal disclaimer? Yeah. I liked it, too. Thank you. I bet McDeath’s wishes they could put something like that on their HOT COFFEE.) EDTA is the key, or so the theory goes. Combined with other therapies (the niacin, Linus Pauling’s C/Lysine therapy, and my already excellent diet), I will be 100% very soon.

The challenge is simple: this sucks.

But will it stop me from training? HELL NO. Once was enough, and this isn’t nearly as bad as it was — but it’s still a drag, let me tell you. Perhaps it was just an off night. No matter — I’m being 100% proactive about this, as nothing (repeat, nothing) will deter me from my goal of achieving my best condition ever in 2006. This goal goes way beyond “narcissism”, as most of you realize — for those of you who don’t…you suck.

(Please email me your names so I can add you to the “Stuff That Sucks” sidebar, okay? M-kay.)

So guys, chime in and help me with my own challenge. The tables have turned. The tail wags the dog. The teacher becomes…oh, hell, I’m still the boss in this joint.

Thursday, November 17th

Today’s Workout: Fast Pace

Warmup: rotator cuff exercises; stretching

Bodyweight dips: 2x6 (last workout it was 2x4)

Slight-incline DB Presses: 2x8 (slow, controlled); 50lbs

Hanging leg raises: 1x6-8

Pulldowns: bi-set (8 reps wide-grip; 8 reps underhand narrow grip): 2x8-10 with 120

Hanging leg raises: 3x6-8 |Superset| Tricep Pushdowns (3x12; 90lbs)

4 min. cooldown on treadmill

My MasterMeal Plan

MM1: Jon’s Migas; Coffee (half caf/half decaf with a bit of half-n-half)

MM2: Chicken and brown rice with veggies

MM3: Post-Workout: Full Strength Shake (see recipes)

MM4: Chicken with veggies

Click here to view my recipes.

It should be noted that Monday-Wednesday, I only consumed 2-3 MasterMeals per day to compensate for the excess calories in NYC. However, that’s all my body dictated it needed. Yesterday and today it’s 4, and it will be back to 5-6 by the weekend. {10}