Floy Benson: May 26, 1926 - July 13, 2008
Dallas, TX—My mother, Floy Benson, passed away yesterday afternoon. Perhaps you saw her picture on my Fit Over 40 website from two years ago. It is there today, and will be there for some time to come. Perhaps you have lost your parents as well. For whatever reason, I ask that you read this short tribute to the last of my immediate family, and the woman who gave so much to so many people.
Eight years ago my father, John Pershing Benson, died in his sleep at the age of 82. I suppose it stands to reason that my mother decided to hang on, empower her life at an age where most people would give up after losing a mate of 54 years, take dementia head-on, beat it solidly for seven and a half of those eight years, and then pass on at the same age as dad.
They always did everything together, so this was a close as she could get to dying together.
Before she died, she lived. I had my doubts. Loving someone like my father who, other than her God was the most important thing in the universe to her, and managing to thrive afterwards is simply a testimony to guts. She listened when she didn’t want to. She took those “crazy pills” I suggested to keep her mental functions as healthy as possible for as long as possible. She joined a gym at 78. She walked two miles every day, rain or shine, cold or hot.
She was my hero for that. And for so much more.
Dementia is a brutal thing to endure no matter which side of the glass you are on. We were fortunate; very fortunate. Mom was totally independent (as well as an excellent driver!) until late last year. The fitness lifestyle was working, but even I knew it was only a matter of time.
But listen up when I say this: That “time” was invaluable. If any of you were wondering what my motivations were behind 7 Minute Muscle, a lot of it was a renewed sense of how little time we really have. Without taking charge of her health and her mental state, mom would have died eight years ago—of this I have no doubt. Her change over the last eight years was stunning.
Hard work (that she enjoyed, by the way) and smart nutrition gave me seven and a half healthy, vibrant years with my mom. She was always telling people how “I saved her life.” Nonsense. I did nothing. She listened. She did all the work. She did it all.
I will never be the man my father was. I’ve known that since I was a boy. He was the poster boy for the “Greatest Generation” if ever there was one. But over the past few years, I realized mom took the reigns.
I’m proud to say I have impossible role models to follow. In character, in strength, in virtue, in faith—utterly impossible.
We 40-somethings kid ourselves. We believe at times we live in a better world. Oh sure, we have our iPhones, our blogs, our virtually effortless existence. We also have our challenges, of course. But nothing… nothing compared to those who lived in the generation prior, and prior to that.
Not. Even. Close.
54 years. I cannot imagine it. Most of us cannot. 54 years happily married. Meet, fall in love at first sight, marry in a few weeks, and presto: Love Story. My folks were pretty special. And my mom loved my father like no one I’ve ever seen; and vice-versa.
So, as these tears keep coming, and as I keep recalling the labored breathing that, despite the nurses and doctors saying was “painless and peaceful” sounded anything but, I ramble on, trying to form complete sentences. Not caring if I do or don’t. Caring only that the honor is paid, as if it ever could be.
So, many of you have been asking questions of me. “Where’s this and that?” My answers have been somewhat truthful, but not entirely. The truth is I had to, for a short time, become my father. Take charge. Take responsibility. Sacrifice. Make sure that my mother’s last months on earth were filled with as much dignity as this rabid disease would allow.
Surrounded by an arboretum, listening to Old Blue Eyes, and encased with a room of diverse and loving friends, I felt as if… well, maybe I did okay. But you know… shit, you know… you never really do enough. How can you? How can you possibly repay someone for your life? How can you make “that” state okay? How can you be okay with saying to the doctor, “Okay. Let her go.” Five thousand people can tell you you’re “doing the right thing”, but…
But.
Last year mom fell and hit her head on the sink while still living in the house where I grew up. Unlike most elderly falls, this was actually a legit trip; one any of us could have made. But I always knew that an accident that required the hospital would put an end to our effective but make-shift means of dealing with this disease.
It was hard from there. But even after her independence was taken away and she was placed with the best of the best (Silverado Senior Living; I cannot say enough good things about them, nor about John Hancock. These two fine organizations have been unbelievable) for long-term dementia care—assisted living to the end, thankfully—mom fought to keep her spunk. She started teaching exercise classes for a while, but then she would forget the movements. It was happening quickly.
Two weeks ago I drove out for our weekly “picnic” where I took her anywhere she wanted to go. She always loved junk food; well, after she was injured and put into Silverado that is. Normally she loved her veggies, but…hey, I get my sweet tooth from her I suppose. She wanted chili dogs and ice cream.
She got it.
Even at 82, she was still in and out of my low-riding sports car as if she was 32. I have friends that bitch about it. Imagine that. She loved to go fast with the top down.
Last week it began, and I knew. The “rapid downward spiral” they had warned me about was happening. Mom no longer desired this existence.
Folks, I’ve said it a million times and I will say it here and now: Your mind controls your body. Change it and your body changes. Mom knew this. But she had no control at this point over where here mind decided to go.
From getting in and out of a sports car to falling six times in four days in a matter of 72 hours. Can you imagine? My mom never fell, except for that initial trip on soap. One I’ve made before. One anyone could make.
Only now did I see her as “elderly”. Only now did I realize that a woman so fit, so independent all of her life, would simply not want to live like this. I believe she fell on purpose. I believe she wanted to leave, and that’s okay. Truly, wonderfully, beautifully okay.
On one of her falls she had internal injuries. Not a candidate for surgery (it would have killed her, and I was going to make sure she lived out her days pain-free and away from a hospital) I made the difficult decision to let her go.
Two long days, but mostly pain-free. Quiet and peaceful. All the right things were said and done.
I will turn now to ensuring that her inspiration is revealed to the world. That her passion for health and vitality does not go unnoticed. That her faith in me as her son was not in vain.
That her memory is duly honored.
Rest in peace, Floy Benson. Say “hi” to Dad for me. And know this—I’m so proud, so damn lucky to have called you my mom and John Pershing my dad.
I love you both beyond words.
[jB]
Note to my readers: Thank you so much for your kind words during these past few days. I ask that you not feel sorry for me, as I consider myself truly fortunate to have had a father who cared enough to take care of us and to be in a position to have done the same for my mom. If we could all pass with such care and dignity.
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Comments (315)
Scott "Old Navy" Hults said:
Thank you for your very inspirational story.
Regards, Scott
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 11:22 AM
Debora K said:
Having cared for my own mother the last couple months of her life, it was one of those bittersweet times when I knew that I was exactly where I was supposed to be at exactly the right time.
I pray Gods tenderness and love for you in your loss. But praise Him for the memories!
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 11:27 AM
Maury said:
Jon- That was beautiful - any mother would love such a tribute. I lost my mother to cancer 17 years ago. I wish we would have been as diligent as you with your mother. We knew, but just didn’t know enough… But one thing I have on my wall is a scripture… “As is the mother, so is the daughter” and I have added “As is the daughter, so does she honor her mother” just to remind me to do my very best - to honor her memory, because I am what I am because of her, and her sacrifices, her selfless life in service to her children and her undying love that still lives on today. I think we could change this for you to say “As is the son, so does he honor his mother.” My prayers are with you! Maury
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 11:32 AM
Joanne said:
Dear Jon:
I’ve been a silent fan of yours for some time now, buying your ebooks, listening to your posts and advice. As a woman “of a certain age,” it is my desire to remain fit and graceful, to function optimally, for as long as I possibly can.
I have a daughter a little younger than you. She is an only child. I can only hope that she loves me as you loved your mom. It is evident in your posts that you were raised with integrity at your core. You got this from your parents, and from your own self development. Your parents did a beautiful job. And now you will continue their life force.
My husband died from a debilitating terminal illness that lasted over five years. I had to let him go, to stop intervention at the end. I think that, and the “little things,” picnics, conversations, comfort that you gave, are all consummate acts of love. You did beautifully by them both.
They will remain with you all your life, in the little whispers and miracles that will occur as you travel this road.
Bless you. And keep up the wonderful work you do. It’s important that we live well, and thoroughly, in health. It’s our job, for now, until we can’t any more. Your mother inspired.
You inspire. Thank you.
J. Sterling
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 11:36 AM
John Hurst said:
Hi Jon…My own mother died a year ago, in similar circumstances. I have learned that in many ways, our mothers never really leave us and, as our lives become emptier with the departure of our friends, heaven continues to fill up with them. You, and I, have a great reunion to look forward to.
God bless.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 11:36 AM
Kathy said:
Jon,
What a wonderful tribute to both of your parents. Know that they are together again and watching over you with pride. You were there for your mom at the end as she was for you during her life on Earth. You wonder if it was enough— I believe your presence is the most important thing. What a wonderful son you are!
My deepest condolences,
Kathy
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 11:38 AM
mike shimon said:
Jon,
I am sorry for your loss. You are still a great writer.
Mike
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 11:38 AM
Linda said:
Thanks for sharing this wonderful tribute to your Mom. Having lost both parents I can feel for you. Unfortunate,y the loss of my mother makes me angry as it was preventable. She could have taken care of herself and lived beyond her 66 years. She died of heart failure. This story of your Mom inspires me to continue on in my quest of health. I have lost over 100# and work out religiously.
Your tribute will encourage others to speak out to their loved ones about their lifestyles. Your mom will live on in their longevity!!
Remember all the good times, speak about them, keep her close!!
In my thoughts and prayers
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 11:39 AM
Nancy D said:
Jon…what a beautiful tribute to your mom. I can only hope that one day my own children will speak about me so beautifully. You are not lucky, but rather blessed to have had such amazing role models in your life. There are some who will never experience that.
I’d like to share this quote by Marianne Williamson…
“A key to mothering is to visualize our children as the adults we would love them to become; strong, happy, serious, loving. Now imagine what kind of mother they must have had to grow into such fabulous grown-ups. And whatever that is, becoming it is the task that lies before us.” There is no more important job than that of a mother.
Thanks for sharing…
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 11:40 AM
Jacque said:
What a beautiful woman…and leaving such a legacy. Thank you for allowing us the opportunity to celebrate her life and all she was. We are praying for your entire family during this time - may God bring you Peace.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 11:41 AM
Kimberley Vega said:
Jon-
Your tribute to your Mother (and your Father) are truly an inspiration to us all as well as a kind and subtle reminder to all of us at any age that time is of the essence and that our parents are a gift to us and we should do our best to honor them by attempting to give back to them what they spent so many years giving to us -love/caring and time.
Yours in Faith,
Kimberley
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 11:41 AM
Ken said:
Jon,
Thanks for sharing this publicly and thanks for all you do for so many people. You are an inspiration to many and as your folks before you, you are making a difference. Isn’t that really what it’s all about? Your parents are proud of you, as you are of them. Walk tall, your memories are powerful. Keep on!!!
Gratefully,
Ken
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 11:42 AM
Donna R said:
What a beaufitul story. It’s wonderful that you had such awesome parents, and know it. Some people live their whole lives with great parents and never even realize it. A pity. I have my parents, still, but reading this makes me want to show my appreciatation for them all the more, while I still can. I also have a very troubled son, who does not appreciate his parents. I only hope it is not too late when he wakes up, and can tell me I’ve been an OK Mom, and that he loves me. Take care.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 11:43 AM
Ida-Mae Kennett said:
Please accept my condolences on the death of your mother. I know you loved her very much.
I lost my mom fourteen years ago and the hurt never goes away. I love her as much now as I ever did and I miss her still. However she is with me always. When I think of her I remember her warmth, cheerfulness and all the funny and wonderful things that happened through the years. You will miss your mom but as time goes on the hurt will lessen and you will remember the good times you had together. She was a very beautiful woman and it’s obvious from the pictures that she loved you very much and was very proud of you.
God Bless.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 11:44 AM
Francie E. said:
My thoughts and prayers are with you. What a wonderful son you are. I lost my mom last September and it’s never easy. I miss her more than I ever thought I could. Much love and lots of blog-hugs as you go through this tough time.
Francie E.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 11:46 AM
Judy said:
Hi Jon,
I’m so sorry for your loss.
It’s so wonderful to have the love that you had. That love will carry you forward now.
You have all done the best you could with what you had. They will always be as proud of you as you are of them. That love will shine always.
Judy
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 11:46 AM
Edith said:
Thanks for a wonderful memoir. My parents died in 1976 (I’ll be 60 soon), and they were alert to the very end. The difference between your memoir & mine is that you had wonderful parents, while mine were seriously dysfunctional. You got the best deal of all…parents who loved each other and you. Count yourself among the blessed, for you truly are! She is with her maker and all her tears have been wiped away. She is pain-free and rejoicing.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 11:47 AM
Renee' said:
Jon,
My thoughts and prayers are with you. I lost my mother to cancer 17 years ago today. Reading your tribute made me sit down and think about what I could write about my mother today. A mother’s love is something that just doesn’t ever leave you, no matter where that mother is.
My deepest sympathy.
Renee’
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 11:48 AM
Kenneth said:
Jon,
My condolences. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful and touching tribute to your mom. It reminded me how important it is to treasure each moment and each day that we have with our loved ones.
I’m sure your mom is in that special place with the man she loves and is smiling down on you for all the good you are doing.
Keep up the good work.
Kenneth Ang
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 11:48 AM
Lucy Bishop said:
Jon,
You have my sympathy for your loss of your Mother, really, both your parents. I know it is hard to lose a parent; my father died in 2003, missing his 92nd birthday by about 5 weeks. My mother is now 87; memories keep them alive.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 11:49 AM
Doris W said:
Bless you, Jon. I’m sorry for the loss of your mother. My prayers are with you in this time as you grieve. What a blessing you both were to each other.
Prayerfully in Jesus,
Doris
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 11:51 AM
Joe said:
Jon,
Thank you for sharing with us your pain, admiration and honor for your Mom. What a beautiful and respectful tribute to her!
Please accept our condolences.
Joe
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 11:52 AM
Eula "Lee" Regan said:
Jon: What a wonderful wonderful testamony and tribute to both of your parents.
Don’t minimize what you did. I am an 11th Hour Hospice Vounteer who tries not to cry, and your lovely words got to me.
I am a 71 y.o. mom and widow of two sons about your age and with a life limiting heart problem. BUT it is our families who give us the spunk to follow healthy programs like yours.
LIVING is the wonderful options we are handed.
You gave some of that to your mom, and many you are now helping. Cry, and get it out. Keep the wonderful memories of your wonderful parents alive, as you just did! Thank you!
Eula (Lee) (hate that first name BTW) :>)
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 11:53 AM
Missy Helbert said:
Dear Jon,
As I read your tribute to your mom I think about my own mom. She is 71 years young and still gets out and pushes a lawn mower over one acre of land. My children say that she has more energy than they do and I truely believe that staying active keeps her young and fit. I just pray that when her day comes that she does not suffer and I will always remember her wisdom and strength as a mom.
My prayers are with you and your family. Just know that one day you will all be together again. God Bless.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 11:55 AM
Judy said:
John, I’m at the point in my life that I’m dealing with aging parents. My Dad just passed in April, and my Mom, who is 82, has been dealing with dimentia for some time now. Thankfully, she has a great attitude about it. She “lives in the moment” as she puts it. I loved your post today…so honest…so raw. It brought me back to the moment that my Dad passed away, and shook me into the reality that I may have only a few precious years with my Mom, so I had better embrace them!
Thank you for that.
I pray that God gives you strength in this difficult time.
Judy
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 11:56 AM
Kim said:
Jon:
You are a blessed man indeed, to have had the parents you did, and your appreciation of and gratitude for that is so very palpable.
Your recounting of what has been going on in your life brings back memories for me. In 2002 and 2003, I took care of both of my parents in the last months of their lives, and their deaths came 364 days apart.
I wish you peace in the coming hours and days and weeks and months.
Take care,
kim
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 11:56 AM
Shawn said:
Jon,
That was a beautiful tribute :) I lost my father a little less than a year ago. Here is a poem that I posted on my blog last year as a tribute.
His Journey’s Just begun by E Brenneman
Don’t think of him as gone away- His journey’s just begun,
Life holds so many facets- This earth is only one….
Just think of him as resting from the sorrows and the tears
In a place of warmth and comfort where there are no days and years.
Think how he must be wishing that we could know today
How nothing but our sadness can really pass away.
And think of him as living In the hearts of those he touched…
For nothing loved is ever lost- And he was loved so much.
I am sure this can apply to a wonderful woman, too :)
And one more poem that I just got in my email a few days ago
I’M FREE
Don’t grieve for me, for now I’m free
I’m following the path God laid for me.
I took His hand when I heard Him call
I turned my back and left it all.
I could not stay another day
To laugh, to love to work or play.
Tasks left undone must stay that way
I found that place at the close of the day.
If my parting has left a void,
Then fill it with remembered joy.
A friendship shared, a lauch, a kiss.
Ah yes, these things, I too will miss.
Be not burdened with times of sorrow,
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My life’s been full, I savored much.
Good friends, good times, a loved one’s touch.
Perhaps my time seemed all too brief,
Don’t lengthen it now with undue grief.
Life your heard and share with me
God wanted me now, He set me free.
Shawn
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 11:58 AM
Stu McLaren said:
Jon,
My thoughts are with you.
Your parents sound like amazing people and your tribute was powerful and inspirational.
It reminds us all that time is the most precious asset we have and that by taking care of ourselves, we maximize it’s value for as long as possible.
Your mother was a great example of that during her final years.
Thanks for sharing.
Stu
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 11:58 AM
Tony said:
Hi Jon,
My condolences to you on your sad loss. Seems like your Mom was a wonderful lady.
What a beautiful tribute you paid to her. She would be very proud of you. I’ve always maintained that great parents produce great kids and you are living proof of that.
Kindest regards,
Tony.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 11:59 AM
DebbieThomas said:
Dear Jon,
Having lost my own dear mother and survived now for 14 years without her, I can empathize with your loss so much. I will pray for comfort for you in the coming days, months and years.
God Bless,
Debbie Thomas
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:00 PM
Steve said:
Jon,
It take courage to share this with the world. It takes reflection and love that is so strong that it can never be broken. Your love for your parents is something so special and so strong. Hold on to their love. I lost my father when I was 10 years old and now my mother is getting up there in years. I know that sometime in the future I will loose her in this world, but I still feel the connection to my father as I’m sure you do to both your parents. Your love for them and your memories of them will live on…
Thanks for sharing what is one of the most painful experiences we all live through. Love what you had and live life to the fullest as you have always. know that they are still with you.
Steve
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:00 PM
Jeff Anderson said:
Truly inspirational story my friend.
I’m deeply sorry for your loss and want you to know that your mother, father, and of course, you, will be in my thoughts and prayers.
From your story, I can tell the world will sorely miss having such a beautiful soul to brighten those around her.
Let me know if you need anything bud.
God Bless.
Jeff
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:00 PM
Donnie Howell said:
I’m very sorry for your loss. I’ll remember you in my prayers.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:00 PM
Mary-Kay said:
Jon,
thanks for sharing - that was truly beautiful - gave me an additional perspective with my Mom who is in a nursing home - she has a strong mind but the body is SLOWLY deteriorating until there is very little independence lett. I can emphaze with you.
May God’s blessings be with you, your Mom and Dad.
Love and Peace,
Mary-Kay
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:01 PM
Scotty said:
Here, Here…..well said Jon……..
Why do we all work so hard and try to make good choices in Life ?
It’s to be able to spend Quality time with our family……I agree….the hard Work your mother put in made it possible to spend those last years of her life with a very high Quality of living.
However it needs to be said that without action, no amount of good intentions will improve one’s health…..for being the one who helped spark your mother into ACTION, Jon…..you are to be Highly praised.
Well done, and thanks for the personal story…….
Scotty
PS. “Enjoy the little things In life……..for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.”
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:01 PM
Penny said:
My deepest condolences your loss Jon. I lost my dad to cancer two years ago. If anything, it reaffirmed that life must be enjoyed to the fullest, taking every opportunity available to do so. I’ve no regrets, since that was my motto many years ago. Live for today, forget the past. You can’t change the past, but you can change what you do now.
May your fond memories of your parents and your hope sustain you, and I know you’ve no regrets either.
Take care.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:02 PM
Eran said:
Hi Jon, from Australia.
I got your email about the tribute to your mother, and to be honest, it’s the first time I have clicked thru on a link in one of your emails in a long time. Something about the topic just resonated with me.
Your tribute to your mother (and your father) was very touching, and I’m 10-20,000 miles away from you & don’t know you or them, yet it touched me here in wet cold Perth, Western Australia.
Thank you for your words - they were very powerful and totally conveyed your sadness for the loss of your parents, but also your joy at having them in your life.
I’m lucky that my mother is still with me, although she lives a long way away from me. However, I have a much beloved grandmother fading away with Dementia, and it’s truly a horrible condition.
Your story made me realise the importance of life, and the love we have for our parents, AND, the importance of our health.
Poor health is my biggest weakness, and it’s something I’ve been procrastinating about fixing for a long time. If it can help your mother fight dementia for over 7 years, there’s a LOT to be said for taking control of your own health and getting serious about it.
I ordered a treadmill the other day and am going to start walking regularly when it arrives. It’s the first step on the path to living a strong, healthy life.
One last thing. Don’t think for one second that you will never be the man your father way. You are your own man, and there’s no shame in aiming to be as good a person as he was. I’m sure he was (and still is) very proud of his son & his life. Be the best Jon Benson you can be, and leave John Pershing Benson to be the best man he (obviously) was.
I never knew my father, so you’re a lucky guy to have not only known yours, but to have had a wonderful one as well…
Thank you.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:02 PM
Connie Arguello said:
Hi Jon,
My condolences to you and your family. May God strengthen you in this time you need him most.
Connie
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:03 PM
Ronnie D said:
Hi Jon.
You are a blessed man to have such beautiful parents, just as they are blessed to have you as their son. Even though they are parted from you now, they are resting with the Lord and, and you have the hope and the promise that you will be with them again.
They have established their virtues in you and their memories will live on forever as you share that same love with others.
Ronnie D
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:03 PM
susan said:
Jon,
My deepest sympathy.
I’m down in Florida today visiting my Mother, who is celebrating her 82nd birthday this July 14. She has been on a steady decline for the past few years, suffering from Parkinson’s disease.
Since breaking her foot 3 months ago getting into a car, she is no longer independent which has definitely caused a further decline in her overall health.
I often find myself increasingly frustrated; frustrated with my Mom’s inability to communicate and my inability to not get aggravated.
Your posting has really touched me as a reminder that my Mom won’t always be around. Deep down I realize this may be her last birthday we get to spend together and how precious this time is.
Again, my deepest condolences and thank you.
Susan
www.catapultfitnessblog.com
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:04 PM
Henning Mikal Tonnesen said:
My condolences Jon, and also thanks for your mail and words.
I lost my mother last year. She became 92.
Its nice to read your reflection on life as I have just been through the same. I think you had a great mother.
Regards
Henning Mikal
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:04 PM
Jo said:
Thank you for sharing this.
Condolences for the loss of your parents, but/and compliments for this tribute.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:04 PM
Tamar said:
Dear Jon
Fortunate are you to have had such wonderful parents.
Fortunate are we that people like them lived and made the world a better place.
Fortunate are they to have a son who follows in their footsteps and continues to try to make the world a better place.
May you be comforted.
Tamar
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:04 PM
Anita Sampson said:
Jon,
Thanks for sharing your beautiful journey with your mom’s passing.
It is such an soulful passage to lose our parents. I think it puts all that we are and all that we are to be in a whole deeper perspective. I, too lost my father this year at the age of 88. My mom and my dad was married for 62 years.
My mom is showing incredible strength and will as she moves ahead in her new life as a widow. I’m so proud of her.
You say that your “mind controls your body” I totally agree. I just want to add that although as such, what is governing our minds? That is where our alignment to God and the humility to have the attunement in prayer ,reflection and meditation helps us to be in the right “mind”.
I think what made our parents generations so great is they had such virtues in which to ground their minds to live their lives.
I have great hopes for our generation and the ones to follow. I think we need to start with solid virtues and faith to develope the “right” minds and we too can hope to have inspiring and purposeful lives as our parents before us. Sweet God’s Blessings, Anita Sampson
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:05 PM
Henning Mikal Tonnesen said:
My condolences Jon, and also thanks for your mail and words.
I lost my mother last year. She became 92.
Its nice to read your reflection on life as I have just been through the same. I think you had a great mother.
Regards
Henning Mikal
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:05 PM
Marsha P said:
Jon, I’m so sorry for your loss but I’m happy you had such a beautiful mother and relationship with her.
My own mother will be 82 next month, and she is a real gym rat! She really is my idol in so many ways. She means the world to me, and I cannot imagine how I’ll cope when her time comes. Fortunately she’s in good shape and she lives what you say about “Your mind controls your body. Change it and your body changes.”
I wish you peace in your grief.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:05 PM
Fraser Neilson said:
Jon
My thoughts are with you and your family - I too have lost a parent and understand the emotions involved.
It sounds like your mother was quite woman, and it’s great that that is how you are remembering her.
Best wishes
Fraser
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:06 PM
marc said:
Jon,
having lost my dear Mother over four years ago, I intensely hear your words and tribute your Mother.
My heartfelt condolences to you at this time. Take every moment to grieve hard for her as I am sure you will.
She is resting with your father and they are proudly looking at you with smiles of peace and comfort on their faces.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:06 PM
Marco Reyes said:
Jon,
God bless you. Thank you for sharing so that abounds in your heart. Those who honor their parents leave them all well, you’re one of them. The beauty of your spirit is the result of your parents.
My admiration and respect.
Marco, Mexico.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:06 PM
Logan said:
Jon,
Your tribute to your mother was very beautiful and hearthfelt. I enjoyed reading it and I thank you so much for sharing it with all of us. Please know she is now in a better place.
My mother’s 90th birthday is this coming Sunday and it puts great perspective on this upcoming event. Condolences on your loss and best wishes to you.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:06 PM
Kathy F said:
Bless you Jon for your inspirational words to honour your precious mother’s life and your father’s life as well. I know many others have stated it but you are so blessed to have had the relationship you did with your parents - you are in the minority. And again, know your mother is in the most wonderful place - her heavenly reward - and she is among that great cloud of witnesses looking down on you so continue to do her proud with your life’s purpose and have the faith she leaves you as an inheritance. Continue to let her life speak through you to inspire others.
Keep it up Jon,
Kathy
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:08 PM
megan said:
Please accept my condolences. I don’t think we ever think we have words adequate enough to express our profound sense of loss when someone we love so dearly leaves the planet, and being an orphan isn’t easy, even if we’re adults when it occurs.
I’m glad you had such a great time with your mom and could enjoy nearly all of her last years, that you were able to share what you knew with her, that she was receptive to doing the work! It’s a gift not everyone gets, and clearly you have no regrets, which is a blessing, too.
megan
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:10 PM
Nicole Grova said:
Oh Jon,
Much gratitude to you for sharing your experience and my condolences. You have a beautiful family and I’m honored that you would share your touching tribute with me, a stranger. What sublime words. I’m sorry for your loss yet celebrate the love you shared.
Best Wishes,
Nicole
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:10 PM
Christine said:
Jon,
My heart and prayers are with you. I sat here in tears reading your story. I can’t and don’t even want to imagine the day I have to be without my parents. But I know that someday I’ll have to face this and I hope I’m as strong as you to be able to compose myself to give them such an inspiring tribute and profess my love and admiration they so deserve.
Your parents must be very proud of you. It’s obvious your parents were very special people. God Bless and Peace be with you.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:10 PM
Lisa said:
You are a good son, Jon. Keep “saving peoples’ lives.” I believe your mother would want that.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:11 PM
Sandy said:
Jon,
This was an amazing tribute. I have no doubt that your parents are incredibly proud of the person you’ve become. Keep your chin up.
Sandy
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:11 PM
Sandy Brooks said:
Hi Jon….
Yes, the tears will fall, and no, I will not feel sorry for you, but will lift you up in prayer. You did not lose your parents, but they moved on to a better life, which you will join them again one day. I, too, have lost both my parents 10 years ago, within 3 months of each other. They had been divorced for 20 years, lived in separate states, and after my dad died from alzheimers I figured I had plenty time left with my mom. God had other plans, and she died suddenly with a massive stroke. We got to say our byes, but the hardest was to let her go. God gives you the memories, which right now will not be many. Then all of a sudden you will remember the little things with both your parents…that is a gift from them.
You are an inspiration to all of us…and many of us share your feelings right now. I thank your parents for you, and I thank you for your life, and I thank God for it all. The tears come and go, but the memories are there forever, enjoy them!!! HUGS
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:11 PM
Lins said:
Hi Jon;
Thanks for Sharing your wonderful Mom and Dad with us.
What a beautiful tribute. I am so glad to be able to read it.
They were very Grateful to have a son like you as well.
The true quality of life Your mother got to share after her
dear hubby died was very special too. Be Blessed.
Lins
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:11 PM
Rev Sandy Shaw in Scotland said:
Thank you for sharing these very precious thoughts.
I have always said to folks over these many years - a mother is precious.
May our gracious loving God comfort you at this time.
Sandy.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:11 PM
Dimitri said:
So sorry and at the same time happy for you Jon…
You grew up and live in a loving family, and that’s pretty much the only thing really important in life…
I’m with you.
Dimitri
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:12 PM
Bob Perry said:
Jon,
I am touched by your tribute to your mother. The bond between mother and son is one of the strongest on this earth. I pray that you move through your grief with as little as possible pain.
Bob Perry
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:13 PM
Heather said:
Jon,
What wonderful parents you were blessed with - and them you! My mom gave up on life and died 4 years ago. It was very sad, but every word you said rang so true.
I hope your sadness lifts soon and you can enjoy all the wonderful memories.
I also hope I can provide my sons with the same kind of memories.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:15 PM
Arleen said:
Thank you for your inspiring heartfelt memoir. You have been truly
blessed and what a miracle that you recognize this and share it with
others. You inspire me on a daily basis. I lost my father almost two
years ago and know firsthand the depth of those feelings. You have
said it all so eloquently- know that God is looking over you now
and always.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:16 PM
Arleen said:
Thank you for your inspiring heartfelt memoir. You have been truly
blessed and what a miracle that you recognize this and share it with
others. You inspire me on a daily basis. I lost my father almost two
years ago and know firsthand the depth of those feelings. You have
said it all so eloquently- know that God is looking over you now
and always.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:16 PM
Vincent Manley said:
Jon,
I want to say,”You have my deepest sympathy.” I know the feeling of losing both parents. I lost my father in 1992 and my mother in 2002.
We hurt with their passing but they live because we are living.
So my friend stay strong and pray God will give you comfort.
Vinny
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:16 PM
Ron & Judith Chipman said:
Jon,
That was truly an inspiring tribute to one who was so deeply loved and a constant encourager. I know what it means to lose someone who was not only a mom but, an absolute best friend. It appears that today, it is rare finding those qualities fitting a parent. I was truly blessed having a Mom with similar qualities. She always encouraged me to do my best, no matter what the obstacles. I lost her in February this year but, what she stood for and what she taught me lives on. Bless you for being the son you are, and we pray all will be well. And, continued blessings for you and your family.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:17 PM
Kevin D said:
Jon,
I know your mom and dad are very happy to have you as a son. Like you, my deceased parents are an everyday inspiration to me.
Two nights before my mom died at the age of 87 as I sat next to her on the edge of her bed, she began swinging her legs back and forth while rolling her arms in a circular motion and said gleefully - “You’ve gotta keep moving! Take flight, girl!” Two days later she did.
She knew like you and your mom that exercise increases vitality and that life goes hand-in-hand with motion. I know our mom’s are still as vital in their new lives.
Your heartfelt words for your mom are wonderful and that they can’t convey how much deeper you feel. It is a continuing tribute to your mom and dad as you pass on your passion for fitness and health. Thanks to them for a wonderful son and thanks to you!
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:18 PM
David said:
Jon, my heartfelt condolences to you and your family. I lost my mother last year, three days short of her 81st birthday. There truly is nothing anyone can say to comfort you as you grieve, but do grieve and remember the love you shared and will continue to share until you meet again.
God bless.
David.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:19 PM
Sharon Marlowe said:
I’m so very sorry for you loss.
I loss my mom to cancer 16 years ago at age 61. What a gift you had to have had that time with her. The heartache will soften as time goes on but will always be there.
Wishing you peace and happy, loving memories.
Sharon
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:22 PM
Irene Cruz said:
Jon,
God has blessed you in so many ways! And He continues to do so! Times can be very challenging when one or both parents are living with Dementia. God is always there to help us out through the good times and bad times.
God Bless You Jon Now and Always!!!!
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:23 PM
Theresa said:
My deepest condolences on your loss . Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and your story.
Your Mom & Dad raised an extraordinary son. You inspire millions to live life to it’s fullest. Do not ever shortchange yourself.
Both of my parents are gone now, too. Dad survived Mom by 7 years. I miss Mom still, and always will.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:23 PM
William F. Quinn said:
My sincere condolences on the passing of your Mom. I too have lost both my parents and it is of course a loss that you probably will never get over. My Dad was an alziemers patient for years before passing, it is the most debilitating disease. I hope your pain will subside soon.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:24 PM
William F. Quinn said:
My sincere condolences on the passing of your Mom. I too have lost both my parents and it is of course a loss that you probably will never get over. My Dad was an alziemers patient for years before passing, it is the most debilitating disease. I hope your pain will subside soon.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:24 PM
Steve L said:
Jon,
I am very sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing such an inspirational tribute to your mom and for including your dad.
Steve
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:24 PM
Deanna said:
Jon,
I just want to tell you I’m sorry for your loss.
But I also know that there are no words that can give you comfort right now. I was there, too, not quite ten years ago - watching my father waste away from a terminal disease. His last minute attempts at healthy eating and taking supplements extended his life almost a year longer than the doctors predicted. And I thank God for that extra year.
It’s so hard to let someone go, but it sounds like your parents left you a wonderful legacy to carry on.
I pray that God will give you the comfort and strength you need to get through this tough time and continue the race strong.
Deanna
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:25 PM
Glenda said:
Dear Jon,
This is a awesome story that you shared. You are truly a blessed person and had a wonderful family life with good parents. Your mother was such a beautiful lady as is shown through this picture. May God continue to bless you and thanks for sharing your testimony.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:27 PM
Kevin Seals said:
Jon,
I just wanted to express my sympathy in the passing of your Mother. You can be at peace because itis obvious your Mother loved you and had a wonderful life.
I was unaware of her sickness because I have been dealing with the death of a parent too. My father had a heart attack on Memorial weekend and lived until June 13th when he passed away. 3 weeks of Hospitals with all his family around him. He too knew it was time to go after we had to move him to a nursing home. He spent one night and passed away the next day.
So I know the emotions you are going through right now. You are in my prayers and email if you need anything.
Love in Christ,
Kevin
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:28 PM
Juan Carlos Guerra said:
Be always plenty, If one thing our folks would ask to us their sons is that try to be as fulfilled and plenty as you can get. Those words keep in my mind after my dad’s passing in 1994. God bless and take care. JCG.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:28 PM
Steve said:
Beautiful heartfelt tribute Jon.
God Bless,
Steve
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:29 PM
Steve said:
Beautiful heartfelt tribute Jon.
God Bless,
Steve
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:29 PM
Thomas said:
Dear Jon,
Thank you for sharing your wonderful tribute to your mother and thoughts of your father
. I am 55 and both of my parents are alive and well at ages 83 and 86. I talk to them daily and am continually humbled at the love they have for each other, my siblings and me. I am as lucky as a man can be having the supportive, loving parents that I do.
Thanks again for sharing and reminding me how how blessed I have been.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:30 PM
Paul said:
hi jon,
i was very sorry to receive the news of your mother’s passing away. but that’s a great tribute you’ve paid her and you’ve really managed to convey how much she meant to you.
i lost my dad in 2005 and my brother a year later, so in some respects i understand how you feel (though NOBODY can ever tell you how you feel, as only you know that).
hope the hurt moves on soon.
from your old buddy, fan and pupil.
paul
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:31 PM
Shobha said:
My dear Jon,
It was a wonderful and peaceful feeling reading your tribute to your mom.
My elder brothers (2) and me lost our mom in June 2006. She was widowed at the age of 40. She loved us so much that she worked hard to educate us and make us independant in all senses. We were so young.
She was a strong woman in her own sense. Her memories still give us the strength.
Just wanted to share the same feelings.
May God bless you and your family.
Shobha
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:31 PM
Shobha said:
My dear Jon,
It was a wonderful and peaceful feeling reading your tribute to your mom.
My elder brothers (2) and me lost our mom in June 2006. She was widowed at the age of 40. She loved us so much that she worked hard to educate us and make us independant in all senses. We were so young.
She was a strong woman in her own sense. Her memories still give us the strength.
Just wanted to share the same feelings.
May God bless you and your family.
Shobha
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:31 PM
Shobha said:
My dear Jon,
It was a wonderful and peaceful feeling reading your tribute to your mom.
My elder brothers (2) and me lost our mom in June 2006. She was widowed at the age of 40. She loved us so much that she worked hard to educate us and make us independant in all senses. We were so young.
She was a strong woman in her own sense. Her memories still give us the strength.
Just wanted to share the same feelings.
May God bless you and your family.
Shobha
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:31 PM
Vivienne said:
Your tribute to your dear Mother and Father was very moving. You ask that people do not give you sympathy and to the contrary, I envy you the closeness and love you enjoyed with your parents. God bless.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:33 PM
Vivienne said:
Your tribute to your dear Mother and Father was very moving. You ask that people do not give you sympathy and to the contrary, I envy you the closeness and love you enjoyed with your parents. God bless.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:33 PM
Gene said:
Jon,
You’re a great son, and a great inspiration to us. Please keep the love that you got from your parents in what you do best. My prayers are with you.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:34 PM
Phil Rutherford said:
Jon,
My sincerest condolences on your loss. I lost both my parents many years ago so I know what you’re going through.
It has been years since we’ve talked - far too long - and your sharing this with us has reminded me that we should never forget to touch the ones we love because life is far too short.
Yours
(The other) Dr Phil
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:34 PM
On a limb with Claudia said:
I am very very sorry to hear about your loss. I know that nothing can replace a fabulous person like your mother. Thanks for sharing her with all of us.
Many blessings to you and your family in this difficult time.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:34 PM
Marylin Sanchez said:
Dear JB:
I read your tribute to your parents and can actually say you had me with tears in my eyes towards the end. It brought back memories of when I was in the same situation with my mom in the sense of making some hard decisions.
She died about 4 years ago come this August 11 from AIDS at the age of 56. She fought for 13 years and towards the end she just didn’t want to deal anymore with all the pills, shots, IV’s and doctors. I mainly took care of her for most of the 13 years that she fought. We unfortunately couldn’t afford assisted living until the end when we were finally granted help. I’ll tell you there were two (2) hard decisions I had to make - first one was putting her in assisted living and the second was putting tubes in to help her breath.
I applaud you at having the forethought and fortitude to acknowledge that your mom didn’t want to live this way and be at peace with it. Call me selfish but it’s taken me all this time to realize that my mom didn’t want to continue to live this way and that it was ok. She secretly stopped taking her medication for a month and hid them under her bed in a box so I wouldn’t know and be angry.
My condolences to you and your family.
Marylin
Coconut Grove, Florida
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:36 PM
Beth said:
Dear Jon,
My deepest sympathies are with you at this time of loss. My mom passed away on July 16 three years ago. Similar to your parents, mine had been married for almost 53 years. She first became critically ill right before their 50th anniversary, though she’d been coping with two rare diseases for many years leading up to it. She was absolutely determined to celebrate that 50th anniversary, and she fought her way back home to the utter amazement of the doctors who called her a miracle. She worked really hard at her rehab and was able to come home after just one month at a rehab facility — this after being so weak she couldn’t even feed herself — another miracle. She enjoyed a beautiful 50th anniversary celebration and beyond. It goes to show the power of determination and love. We all know she lived as much for us as for herself (especially for my dad — they were inseparable too). She loved well and lived well and now is safely in the arms of the Lord, where I hope your mom and her have become the best of friends, now that they are free from all pain and suffering. Praying for your heart to be encouraged and comforted as I know you miss her dearly.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:36 PM
Roger said:
Thanks for sharing this, Jon. All of us will keep you and your family in our prayers.
Roger
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:37 PM
Doug said:
Dear Jon:
I’m very sorry for your loss and grateful for your eloquent and beautiful tribute to your Mom. Hard as it must be to have lost both your parents in such a frustrating and anguished way, at least your family was close, loving, and cared deeply for each other.
I am one of five kids, three boys, two girls, and my parents went through a nasty divorce back in 1973. My family has never been the same since. We rarely speak to each other, never visit on holidays, and as the oldest, I have had to listen to a litany of “mom and dad did this and that” stories from my siblings. They are angry, bitter, and disappointed over their parents, who are totally disengaged from their children’s lives.
Ironically, my family enjoys relatively perfect health. No major ilnnesses, no major injuries, no diseases, no dibilitating conditions, no disabilties. We have been blessed as a family with consistently great health both mentally and physically.
My parents are both 76 years old, in great health, and enjoy lifestyles of total independence.
So, as painful as it is to lose your parents, at least be comforted in the knowledge that you had the kind of family relationship I can only dream about. At least your family loved and cared about each other enough to make and keep a lifetime commitment to each other.
And take heart in ther knowledge that you made a difference in your Mom’s and other people’s lives. That’s not easy to do. And your parents are proud of you for that achievement.
You have a lifetime of loving and proud memories with your parents. Let those loving memories comfort you in this time of grief. I hope the memory of your parents will fill you with a sense of contentment as you work through your grief. At least you know that you loved, and were loved, sincerely.
kind and warm regards:
Doug Robb
Austin, Tx.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:43 PM
Shelly said:
Great attitude! Your parents would be proud!
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:46 PM
Jim Ott said:
Jon: Sorry for your loss. I was also stunned at the number who have taken the time to add a comment. Northing like knowing that you are important to us and that we have the same admiration of you that you had of your Mom. God Bless. Jim
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:47 PM
Archie said:
Jon,
Please accept my sincere condolences on your loss. Your tribute to your mum deeply touched me. I myself lost my mum 6 years ago. Yours is one of tyhe most beautiful and inspiring tributes I have ever read. I am lost for words. Thank you for sharing this event with us so openly. Your mum was obviously an incredible woman, and you are blessed to have had such a beautiful relationship with her.
My thoughts are with you at this difficult time, but I’m sure you realise you have friends round the world, (many of whom you’ve never met, like myself) who are supporting you at this time from a distance.
Blessing to you and your family.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:47 PM
Farrokh said:
Thank you for sharing this very touching story. From my own experience with my mothers passing away (we live in India) I know we come closest to our loved ones during these times. And yes, the old generation had courage and grace. May God bless you and may your parents soul rest in peace.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:48 PM
Mike Hill said:
You’re an amazing writer, a great man, and you were a wonderful son.
Your mom is as proud of you buddy.
We are all proud and honored to know someone who gives so much to everyone else.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:48 PM
Lynn said:
Jon,
Bless you! Your mother and father would be very proud of you today.
It is never easy to see a loved one pass. The greatest thing is that we have all of our memories to help carry us on and on. They will never cease to end.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, and your family picture too. Looks like you had a wonderful family.
May all of the blessings being passed on to you from all of your friends and family help you get through your loss.
God Bless you!
Lynn
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:51 PM
Sarah said:
I am so sorry for your loss Jon, your mom was an inspiration to me after I read about her in Fit Over 40, and I’ve shown that part to some friends who considered themselves “old” way before time.
My own parents are still alive and well - thankfully - but they live in France (not too far from Bordeaux) and I’m in Montreal (Quebec - there is another Montreal close to where they are actually). Therefore I only get to see them for a few weeks per year, expecting them here between October 3rd and 17th this year. They decided to fly from Paris to Vancouver, rent a car and drive to Calgary, fly on to Toronto, rent another car and drive to Montreal; a trip, dad said, they figured they would have to do before they got old. He is 77, mom is 72; they are not old.
Keep your mom, and your dad, in your heart and you will always have them with you!
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:51 PM
Mary Valentine said:
Thank you for your heartfelt tribute to your Mom & Dad. It was very moving and brought tears to my eyes.
I well remember how I felt when my Dear Mom died 8 years ago aged 90.
She died the day that I returned to England too late for me to see her before she passed. and I’m sure God wil sustain you as he did me then at this deeply unhappy time.
You have been an inspiration to me
May God bless and keep you,
Mary
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:52 PM
John said:
Jon,
Your tribute was everything it needed to be…For my Mom as well….I have the tears to prove it…Sincerely John
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:54 PM
John said:
Jon,
Your tribute was everything it needed to be…For my Mom as well….I have the tears to prove it…Sincerely John
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:54 PM
John Britton said:
I am very sorry for your loss. It was a great story and tribute to your mother and father and I know they were always proud to have you as their son. Blessings, John
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:57 PM
paul said:
Jon,
I’m new to your community, and mistrustful of all internet marketers. But I have to say I’ve rarely been so deeply moved by someone I’ve never met, and for what it’s worth, in this difficult time, I offer you my most scincere condolences.
paul
Cornwall, England.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 12:58 PM
Janice S. said:
Jon,
Thanks for sharing your heartfelt words! Just know that in those words you conveyed such love that it is in itself inspiring to us all. May God be with you and all your family in this time.
Janice
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 01:00 PM
Jon said:
Jon,
My heart goes out to you and your family. I lost my dad of 85 years to Alzheimer’s in 1999. Mom has lived on and prospered and is now 93 living in independent living! She is as sharp as a tack but her body has suffered from the years of work and toil raising a family in the 50’s, 60’s and 70’s.
Unless you go through this personally as you and I have, you cannot relate to the pain of watching a loved one look you in the eyes and know they don’t recognize you or anyone close to them. Yet there are those brief moments when the clouds will open for the space of a day or a few hours, and those small synapses in the brain reconnect, allowing them to function almost normally!! Such a strange and emotionally painful disease for the victim and their family as well.
I actually have had your material sitting on my list of “things to do”! I am 53, 40 lbs overweight and doing the mid-life re-assessment of where I want to be in 5, 10, 15 years. I don’t want to be in this body, and I don’t want to repeat my father’s health lifestyle either!
I have also written an e-book on achieving your life’s goals (www.FindYourIt.com). So it’s time for me to start living up to my promises! I know you didn’t send this email to me as a sales letter and I would not insult your mom’s memory by “pitching” anything of my own. I simply am saying that we all need to recognize that “Our time here is a brief moment, in the Grand Theme of existence!”
Should we not live each moment as though we may have it only for one more day?
I will join with you and commit myself to improving my well being. Please look for my order shortly. And also know that there are others reading this who may want to re-assess how they are living health wise!!
Thank you for opening your heart to those of us on your list!
John Smart
www.FindYourIt.com
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 01:04 PM
irenefk said:
You truly are a blessed young man to have such parents, a gift from God. You have a calling and I think that you are doing what you love by how you write.
She truly had qualtiy of life for such a long time and done so much to show others the way, as revealed in your tribute of “Love of Mom and Life”
She is an inspiration to all. So are you.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 01:05 PM
Gwynne said:
Hi Jon,
Blessings to you at this pivotal time in your life.
My mother passed away on May 18th of this year, just 1 day after her 91st birthday. She had cared for both her mother and father prior to their death, being adamant that they be able to stay at home. I never heard her utter one word of complaint about what she did for them. I’m an only child and she made it clear that she wanted the same kind of care and respect when her time came.
I left my husband and home on April 1st and traveled 350 miles to spend the last 6 weeks of her life with my mother. She was also a woman of strong will and integrity. She amazed me when she had breast cancer surgery in 2005 and never took a pain pill after being discharged from the hospital. She had almost 3 full years of living an independent and active life before the cancer was detected again on Jan. 3, 2008. At that point it was in her liver and lungs and was told she had less than 3 months to live. She went home and lived alone, taking care of herself. True to form, she defied the doctor’s proclamation and lived 5 1/2 months.
My mother was amazing! She never exercised; Centrum Silver was her vitamin of choice although I tried in vain to get her to take a better quality vitamin plus other supplements; and she never watched her diet. She ate margerine every single day and never bought a bottle of olive oil in her life. I believe in everything you teach, but I believe it has much more to do with the way we view and think about our bodies and health than any physical action we can possibly take.
I made frequent trips to visit and make sure she was doing okay. When I left home the last time I didn’t anticipate staying as long as I did. But I watched her get weaker with each passing day and knew she was nearing the end. My husband encouraged me not to do anything I would regret later.
I know how you felt as you watched, knowing there was nothing you could do, as your mother passed away. It was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever endured to watch a woman who was so strong get to the point that she couldn’t raise her head off the pillow. My daughter helped out and we managed to care for her, with the help of Hospice, until she died in her sleep in her own bed. The most amazing thing was that she never had any pain and, again, had no need for pain medication.
If it is of any consolation I whole-heartedly believe that there is no such thing as “death,” simply a shedding of a physical body that no longer serves its original purpose. I’m aboslutely certain your mother is watching over you and smiling at being able to witness what a wonderful son she raised and who will continue to make her proud.
Namaste,
Gwynne
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 01:07 PM
Greg said:
Jon,
The finest words you’ve ever written, a very moving tribute to your Mom. After reading your post I feel like I knew her. Your words convey your inner strength through your grief.
My condolences to you, friend.
-Greg
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 01:12 PM
Beth said:
Jon,
Thank you for sharing with all of us your tribute to your mother. I was truly touched by all that you wrote about both of your parents. I know this is a very difficult time for you, I lost both my father and husband to cancer in 2004 so I know the pain you are feeling. I am blessed to have my mother still with me and your tribute reminds me to truly cherish each and every day that we can share together. Keep all of your memories alive and your parents will never truly be far from your heart. Thank you again for touching all of our lives.
Beth
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 01:12 PM
Marc David said:
Jon,
While I didn’t know your parents, your story certainly did help. They obviously did a bang up job raising you my friend. The world will miss them for sure.
My prays go out to you and yours. And I’ll send a good vibe your way too.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 01:12 PM
Amy Sherman said:
Hi Jon,
What a beautiful tribute to your parents. So many of us have been through what you have and so many more will be experiencing the death of our parents as we age and as they age. It doesn’t get any easier. My mom is 86 and as feisty as ever, but I know in my heart, that at any point things could change. I look at her now and don’t even think of her as old because she can out walk me anytime. She writes articles to the editor, is past president to her Democratic Club, and is still cooking up a storm during the holidays. Thank you for reminding me about the precious little time we have together and that we need to appreciate our blessings constantly.
You are very fortunate to have had such wonderful parents and I am so sorry for your loss.
Amy
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 01:13 PM
Alison said:
You are indeedly lucky and you inspire me to be the kind of parents you had, to my future children. They were very fortunate to have such a wonderful son like you to speak so highly of them and everything else. God bless you, Jon.
Thank you for the inspiring post, it brought a single tear to my eye and made my day.
-Ali
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 01:16 PM
Mike Geary said:
Jon, you’re in my thoughts buddy. Thanks for sharing this story as it is yet another reminder to cherish every second we have on this little spinning globe. I know how much your mom meant to you. I’m glad to see you’re focusing on the positives and all of the joy and happiness that she brought to so many lives.
Don’t forget how much you are helping others enjoy healthier and happier lives through all of the information that you put out there. We all appreciate everything that you do Jon.
I hope to see you come out and spend some time with us in the mountains in August. Talk to you soon bud,
Mike
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 01:17 PM
Yvonne said:
Jon,
May God comfort and strengthen you during these difficult days. You need to lean on your Heavenly Father now and know that He is enfolding you in His arms of love and caring. It is so difficult to say goodbye to our beloved parents, may memories of them forever be with you.
Yvonne
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 01:17 PM
Jafra said:
Thank you so much, Jon. It was an honor to be included in your tribute to your blessed mom - and family. The tears started when I read the title of your email; I lost a granddaughter two years ago and the tears seem always ready to roll. It is so good to know your mom and dad are together again!! That alone brings joy.
Your book, Fit Over 40, has been of genuine value to me as a 76-year-old. It inspires me to return to the gym SOON, even though I have very recent spinal injuries. Before they occurred, I was like your mom in my determination to stay active and live long, and — in my heart, and with your inspiration — I still am. My love of - and excellence with - driving maintains the independence that keeps my “better-self”-image alive and well.
Warmest regards,
Jafra
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 01:24 PM
Jeff said:
Jon,
Thank you for honoring your parents — that is too often a rarity nowadays. I wish I could offer something of value to not only help console and encourage, but also just express my appreciation for the ways you help people like me overcome health and life challenges.
I don’t have any words other than, “thank you.”
You are in my prayers, not just because of your grief — but because I want to see the Creator of the Universe get His just reward…all of our hearts and minds and bodies fully desiring to honor Him. My prayer is that all of His dreams for you would be fulfilled.
- Jeff
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 01:30 PM
Becky said:
Dear Jon -
We don’t really know each other although we have communicated in the past and I am glad to still be on your mailing list. (I have purchased some of your materiaIs before and plan to order more).
I am so very sorry for the loss of your Mom. I can only imagine how difficult this must be. Both of my parents are still alive at 86 and 87 and I’m fortunate that, even though there have been ups and downs, there are still doing fairly well. Since my parents are still with me, I truly can only *imagine* at this point what you must be going through. My condolences to you. Your words above are a beautiful tribute to both your parents. How wonderful that your Mom kept active as long as she could - sounds like my Dad, who at 86, works out at the health club at 4:30 a.m. 4 days a week, still works in his yard, and goes fishing twice a week. It’s quite inspiring to see the Greatest Generation living life to the fullest.
My thoughts and prayers are with you as you get through this difficult time. And many thanks to you for continuing to lift up and inspire so many people yourself with your healthful lifestyle.
Many blessings,
Becky
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 01:31 PM
Rosa Oliver said:
Dear Jon,
I am very sorry for your loss. A greast tribute to your parents, thank you for sharing it with us.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 01:32 PM
Beatrice NAS said:
Dear Jon,
Just to tell you how sorry I feel for your loss (my own mother passed away when I was 16, and that was a 44 years ago, but I have missed her badly since then…) I remember writing you some time ago after reading ‘Fit over Forty’ that your mother was the the one person that inspired me most.
Be brave, and thank you for who you are.
Beatrice NAS (Reunion Island, France)
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 01:33 PM
Marcy said:
Jon,
My thoughts are prayers are with you at this time of need. Thank you for sharing your experience with us. My father just got diagnosis with dementia - and the family is struggling to come to terms with it. Your words give me hope.
I want to leave you with something I read in the “Healing Drum”.
As the snowflake has its
movement in time, so do you.
As a snowflake converts to water
and ultimately to vapor,
so will you eventually convert back
to Spirit Vapor.
Be Strong and take Care of Yourself.
Marcy
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 01:33 PM
Marcello said:
May she rest in peace “upstairs” and you live in peace “downstairs”.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 01:40 PM
Larry said:
I’d like to extend my deepest condolences, Jon. I, too, have had the incredible fortune of having two amazing parents; and I can’t begin to imagine the pain you’re obviously experiencing. Thank you for sharing that wonderful tribute.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 01:41 PM
Larry said:
I’d like to extend my deepest condolences, Jon. I, too, have had the incredible fortune of having two amazing parents; and I can’t begin to imagine the pain you’re obviously experiencing. Thank you for sharing that wonderful tribute.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 01:41 PM
Aline said:
Jon: There is nothing I can say that hasn’t been said, nothing I can do that hasn’t been done. Just add my name to the long list of people who care for you and your loss at this time.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 01:46 PM
Elaine Cousins said:
I don’t know exactly how I recieved this e-mail, but I’m glad I did. What a wonderful and moving tribute to both your Mom and Dad. You were blessed to have such an outstanding family, what a role model they were! Not only did you have a Mom and Dad, you got to spend 82 wonderful years with them both, Oh how lucky you were. Those 57 years are unheard of in this day and time.
Coming from a background like that, you must be pretty special yourself. I know you are for the simple fact that you were there til the end. What a loving son you are. She is now looking down on you and smiling, she’s in heaven with her Romeo and God and all the angels. She is out of her misery. You shared the last days of her life with her until she took her last breath. How beautiful is that? She was never without her loved one.
May God Bless and keep you, as each day goes by it becomes a little
easier, be thankful for all you did, it was God’s decision not yours or your Mom’s. Just know that. God loves you.
Maybe some day you could write about your family and your life. It would certainly make a lovely story. Think about that, and know that she isn’t here in human form but she watches over you along with
your Dad. You will always have them there in your every being.
Take comfort in knowing you did all you could while she was alive and that’s what counts.
With Sympathy,
Mrs. Elaine Cousins
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 01:50 PM
Elaine Cousins said:
I don’t know exactly how I recieved this e-mail, but I’m glad I did. What a wonderful and moving tribute to both your Mom and Dad. You were blessed to have such an outstanding family, what a role model they were! Not only did you have a Mom and Dad, you got to spend 82 wonderful years with them both, Oh how lucky you were. Those 57 years are unheard of in this day and time.
Coming from a background like that, you must be pretty special yourself. I know you are for the simple fact that you were there til the end. What a loving son you are. She is now looking down on you and smiling, she’s in heaven with her Romeo and God and all the angels. She is out of her misery. You shared the last days of her life with her until she took her last breath. How beautiful is that? She was never without her loved one.
May God Bless and keep you, as each day goes by it becomes a little
easier, be thankful for all you did, it was God’s decision not yours or your Mom’s. Just know that. God loves you.
Maybe some day you could write about your family and your life. It would certainly make a lovely story. Think about that, and know that she isn’t here in human form but she watches over you along with
your Dad. You will always have them there in your every being.
Take comfort in knowing you did all you could while she was alive and that’s what counts.
With Sympathy,
Mrs. Elaine Cousins
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 01:50 PM
Lou Baldwin said:
Wow! Thank you for including us even in your deepest sorrow. My Mom is now where yours was, and I hope I can sustain the dignity and grace that you have demonstrated in such a difficult situation. You are and continue to be a role model for me, in so many ways.
Thanks, Jon.
My prayers, and deepest sympathy to you and your family.
Lou Baldwin
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 01:56 PM
Pete Hervin said:
Jon,
My condolences on the passing of your mom. You are proud of what your mom did to keep active and I know she was twice as proud of you and what you have become in your life.
As hard as things have been lately, what you had to do was based on love and respect for your mom. She was fortunate to have you and your knowledge these last several years.
God bless….
Pete
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 01:56 PM
Alex said:
Jon, my heart and my prayers go out to you. I have spent it seems like my entire lifetime thus far trying to get along with my mother. After years of back and forth we are finally starting to act like friends. I thank God for that. After reading about you and your mother hope springs eternal. I hope that one day we too can have the relationship that you have enjoyed.
Your tribute is an inspiration for me. I hope that you will continue to be blessed in all that you do.
Alex
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 02:02 PM
Bob Lenney said:
Jon,
A wonderful tribute to your mother and also your father.
Thanks for sharing the thoughts with us.
My sympathy on your loss and best to you going forward.
Bob
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 02:12 PM
Helena Craveiro said:
I’m sorry for your loss Jon. I cried when I read your tribute to mom. I recently lost my uncle who also was an inspiration. He died at 64 from an aneurism. Like your mom, he LIVED. Every day he took the time to do what brought him joy, and he was always smiling and being affectionate with people. He knew what counted. This life is so short. We need to make the best of each day for that’s all we know for sure we have. God bless you and your family.
Helena Craveiro
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 02:12 PM
Sallie said:
Than you so much for “sharing” your Mom with us…I know from where you speak..my own Mom passed away so many years ago..and it seems as if it were yesterday..my Dad (who I adore) is still here at 82 and I am forever grateful for the extra time I have with him..
Because of you and what you teach I am able to pass along to my Father..you were blessed with wonderful parents who passed their love along to you and you have paid forward.
My sympathies to you..my prayers are with you..
Take care.
Sallie
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 02:12 PM
dave said:
i am very sorry for loss may you find peace soon my prayers go out to you god bless………………..dave
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 02:14 PM
Helena said:
Everything was already said… Thanks, Jon - I believe, your mom can help you now even more than she did untill now.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 02:14 PM
Tony Juskal said:
You have been a very lucky man Jon having the kind of parents that you had and this reflects in the articles that you have wriitten, they will both be proud of the way that you turned out.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 02:15 PM
Deb said:
Jon, words can can capture how this wonderful tribute to your Mom made me feel. In some ways the love your Mom and Dad had mirror my own life, but only 27 years so far and not 54. Unfortunately I don’t think we will get to have 54 since my husband has cancer and conjuctive heart failure. I hope I can be as brave as your Mom. And I pray that I have touched my childrens life like she touched yours, and many others I would bet. Her story is an inspiration.
God Bless and stay the course.
Deb
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 02:15 PM
Lori said:
Having just lost my father 2 short weeks ago, your story made me cry as well as smile. I am sorry for your loss and commend you for your strength to share your story. There is a story I read while my father was dying that gave me strength and made me to realize that allowing us to asstist with the dying process is the greatest gift our loved can give us. You can find it at www.hospicenet.org. It is called “The Care-
giver’s Journey”.
Remain peaceful and happy…you are not alone.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 02:17 PM
Chuck said:
Jon: What a marvellous tribute to a woman who obviously did a great job with her son. We too often put off what we later regret but you were there and I am certain this gave your mother great comfort.
I lost my father in 1993 and my wife in 2000, while I can still enjoy the company of my mother (88). While I can not know the exact pain you grieve I can empathize with it.
Conditions related to MS took my wife after she struggled with the rapid loss of her independence from 1990 (time she was finally diagnosed) to 2000. The last year was so difficult for her that she insisted on going into assisted care as I struggled with a back injury. Every minute avalable was spent encouraging her and trying to make things as comfortable as possible while assisting her with the exercises. During that year pneumonia and faulty meds threatened to take her away.
The most precious memory I have of my father was the day before he died (cancer) when he insisted that we were to make sure Mom was cared for and told my wife - ” I know you are struggling with this damnable MS but I trust you to see that these boys live up to that.-
She took that to heart and when her time was near she took the time to call all of us and remind us of our duty to our own mother - hers had passed away in 92.
She seemed to know when the end was coming - as I prepared to leave for home that last night she asked me to stay until she fell asleep. Most nights she encouraged me to go home and get some rest. - As I sat beside her bed that night i heard for the last time - Take care of Stevie (our autistic son) and remember that I love you both)
She fell asleep and slipped away 10 minutes later.
Trust in God and friends - they will see you through.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 02:20 PM
John Mariotti said:
Thank You Jon
Thank you for your post. I am moved and inspired.
My Father is fading as well and I can not give him I want. But I am doing what I can. Today I will do more.
Thank You
Namaste
John Mariotti
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 02:27 PM
Clifford Ball said:
Thanks for sharing this Jon, it was very touching. I lost my mom a few years ago and with my Dad at 84 I know I won’t have him much longer. Your story is similar. My parents, too, were fine examples of the greatest generation. I was born, as a surprise, when my mom was 40. She never slowed down. She struggled with weight because of a physical condition and eventually became diabetic. Yet she strapped on rollerskates and skated with us kids at the school when she was 55. She even took a fall on those skates and had to give them up but didn’t give up anything else. She loved to go out and shop and meet people and all the store owners adored her. She began to lose her sight and eventually lost most of it. But she still didn’t stay home. After we took away her keys, her kids would take her out and she’d be off shopping, holding stuff up to her light by her face so she could see it. She passed away rather suddenly one night out of the blue.
Even when they are gone, your parents are still there in everything thing that you are.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 02:28 PM
Don in Florida said:
Jon,
Losing one’s mother at any age is heart-breaking. I wish for you God’s peace in the knowledge that she is really home at last in a place where there is no pain. Only internal joy!
My mother went home at the age of forty-seven when I was fourteen years old, leaving behind seven of the ten children she brought into this world. But the last days of her life instilled in me the strong faith in our God that remains with me to this day. With her dying breaths she continued to honor our God.
May you find peace and comfort knowing that you did all that you could do for your mother while she was here.
Don in Florida
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 02:30 PM
Angie Tousignant said:
Hi Jon…I am deeply sorry for the loss of your
mother. Words cannot express the loss of a
‘mom.’
It sounds like you were very fortunate and
blessed to have the kind of parents that you
did…I am sending lots of hugs your way ;)
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 02:31 PM
Mathew said:
Jon, i’m blown away…..what a tribute.
You are very lucky to have had such wonderful parents.
Celebrate their lives and embrace every memory.
Our deepest sympathy for you and your family.
Love & best wishes
Matt (uk reader)
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 02:33 PM
F. Marden Young said:
Jon, I was sorry to hear of the passing of your Mother. You have inspired me through the trials and tribulations you have overcome. The closeness of your family seems to be very important to you. There is a necessary great work you can do if you want to be with your Mother and Father in the hereafter.
Through his loving grace and mercy the Lord makes salvation possible for everyone who did not have the opporunity to receive, understand, and obey the Gospel during their mortal lives. The gospel is preached to these deceased people in the spirit world.
Members of the Church on earth must perform saving ordinances in behalf of their deceased ancestors and others. Your parents in the spirit world have the opporunity to accept or reject the ordinances performed in their behalf.
It is my testimony that you must become a member of my Church and do this work for your family, if you are to be with them after you die. I trust this is your desire. You will have no regrets for investigating this.
Marden
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 02:41 PM
rebecca said:
Your story is one of beauty and inspiration. We lost my uncle just over a year ago to cancer and you are so right about your mind and body. the dr. told him he had 6 months but woth a loving wife,a supportive family and his faith in god gave him 3 1/2 wonderful years to spend with us.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 02:44 PM
isobel said:
Dear Jon
I am in awe… that the human lives we all share can be so enriched.
Also that by taking control of her fitness including nutrtition your wonderful mother extended her life and happiness so vastly.
And you’re an exceptional human being too, as your parents were!
isa
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 02:52 PM
Max said:
Hey Jon,
As a reader of your newsletters, and an avid lover of exercise…my deepest condolences…
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 02:54 PM
Melanie said:
Hello Jon,
I know people can say so many things right now to you except they truly cannot feel just what you feel. I lost My Mom to cancer . She was 52. Today I am 52 also. The mind can REALLY rule the Body!! Thanks so Much for that!! Except in Your Mom”s state at the end. God Bless Your Wonderful Mom and Dad! You know what Jon. They live thur you!! What a Awesome Son you are!! Thanks for ALL YOUR KINDNESS!! You truly Care about People. Your story was so Beautiful and from Your Heart. Jon each Day Blow A Kiss to the sky to your Mom and Dad. They will catch it!! God Bless you Jon.
Melanie
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 03:07 PM
Cindy said:
Jon,
You have my deepest sympathies. What a wonderful tribute to your mother, as well as your father and family. They instilled some wonderful values in you and they can be proud. My grandfather lived to be 100 and was active and of excellent health until the last month. No one could believe he was that old. My grandmother is in her mid 80’s and is very active as well. But, I know there will come a day when things will change. All you can do is make sure they feel loved and they are at peace. Celebrate their lives in tribute, just as you have done. It is an inevitable part of life for all of us. But, can be handled with dignity.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 03:18 PM
Linda said:
Jon,
Last month on June 14th my Dad pass away and I know the pain to lose someone you loved, but reading your memory of your Mom I know just like me how grateful & great memories you have to hold you stong. One day you & I will see our parents again.
Be blessed,
Linda
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 03:22 PM
Janel said:
Dear Jon,
You are so privileged to have the noble heritage your parents left to you, as well as an abundance of generational blessings working in your life.
It is a credit to the three of you in how you lived, laughed, and loved. She will be missed but not forgotten, in a myriad of ways her memory will flood your soul and continue to enrich your life.
My prayers and thoughts are with you.
Janel
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 03:27 PM
Dan said:
Jon,
I too have lost my mother, colon cancer 14 years ago. Truly our parents play a giant role in who we become and how we decide what we will do differently. Your parents did a great job at guiding you, and that comes through in who you are. Nothing can replace your parents but fond memories are treasured for the rest of your days.
Dan
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 03:35 PM
Sue Kuchman said:
Jon -
You did your mother proud.
I’m sorry you lost her but I’m happy she’s in a better place with your Dad. You honor them both. Having worked in Long Term Care for over 14 years, I wish more families were has honoring and respectful as you are.
I am very fortunate to still have both my parents. I only hope I can be as courageous and compassionate as you have been when their time comes. Some people think letting someone go is the easy way out. But you will now agree, it is a very difficult and courageous thing to do.
You will miss her a lot and you will cry a lot and all of that’s OK.
Remember, you are who you are because of them.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 03:38 PM
Lauren Muney said:
Deepest condolences, Jon. I am overwhelmed… my best for you.
Lauren
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 03:38 PM
Sheila said:
Hi Jon,
First of all let me say my heart goes out to you on the death of you mom.Your tribute to her was beatiful to say the least.She was an incredible woman as was your dad.It trickled on to you.My mom passed away in 98 due to simuliar circumstances.The hurt never goes away however it get easier to manage day by day.You have your memories and that is a blessing in it self.You have been a blessing to more people than you can imagine.You sent me your first 10 ecourses on living fit over 40.I am 41 yrs old and have been losing weight over the past 5 weeks.But hit a plateu.After reading your ecourses I have lost another 8 lbs in one week.Thank you so much.I plan on purchasing your book next week.Anyone that asks me how I did,they’ll definetely get my referral.May God comfort you and your family in this time of sorrow.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 03:40 PM
Jay Valento said:
Hi Jon,
It is a tough year for me too but I am staying positive.
My mom suffered from Demenita as well and passed in February 2008
My dad passed away in June 2008. He had been on hospice care for three years with bladder cancer. He won two world series of softball rings for 80 and over. He lived a very active lifestyle into his later years and was doing over 200 push ups a day in his 80s.
Before he went to the retirement home, my niece Christie (my brother’s daughter), tried to share the gospel with him. I had many times over the years but he kept rejecting Christ and salvation. So, she shared with him in February and was not successful. I told her it was all about timing.
So one day at the retirement home in Burbank, he really wanted to go back to our Downey home and that was not an option. So I called my niece Christie while I was talking to my dad and told her that now was the time to share and pray with my dad. She and he prayed together for his salvation and he received Jesus as his Lord and Savior at 91…which was an answer to the prayers of many people that having been praying for him.
While he was at the retirement home he had lost about 20 pounds but not in a good way. I knew that his time was short…and truly believe that he is in heaven now rejoicing.
Cherish each moment of the day with all of your relatives.
Your Friend,
Jay
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 03:53 PM
Gunny said:
Hey Jon.
Well done!! Well done for accepting that your mother and indeed your father were so great and great enough to love you and each other as they did. No doubt they have some greater function to fulfill in life beyond the grave. God looks after everything you know!!
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 04:00 PM
Marlene said:
Hi Jon,
Sincerest condolences on your loss, and may the fortitude and fine character that your parents imbued in you carry you through this mega-rocky time. The vivid portrait you paint of your mom and dad is a wonderful tribute to both of them.
Take care, and try to remember the fun, or just plain funny times—the best stuff in life!
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 04:10 PM
Suz said:
Jon,
All I can say is ‘WOW’. What a beautiful tribute to your mother and father. THAT is what life is about: love, dignity, caring for others, enjoying life while IT has US. You are very blessed to have grown up with so much love and to recognize and appreciate it.
Thank you for sharing this with ‘us strangers’. It’s great to know there are other kind people out there who place value on what’s important. The world is beautiful because of people like you and your parents.
I wish you love, comfort and all the great memories in the days ahead.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 04:13 PM
Teresa B. said:
Jon what a beautiful tribute to a wonderful lady! I can tell by the words that you wrote that you loved and cared deeply for both of your parents. That is an awesome tribute in and of itself. Your Mom’s and Dad’s faith in God, each other, and you comes shining through. May God’s Love comfort you now during this time of grief. God Bless you, Teresa
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 04:13 PM
lyn jenkins said:
Joe
it is so painful to lose someone u love, i cant imagine losing a mum and dont even want to think about it. Godbless you and give you strength, and godbless you more for loving your parents so deeply. many people should take a leaf out of your book. Your mums spirit will live on in you and with you forever. i dont believe us as mums leave the ones we love………………………………i dont think anything can break that bond. we may not be here in body but our spirit lingers because we love our children unconditionally. remember that she will be smiling down on you all the time, togther with your dad. Regards Lyn
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 04:23 PM
Debbie Edmundson said:
I am a hospice nurse. This is a book I wish more people knew about:
THE NEXT PLACE by Warren Hanson.
You honor your parents well. Delight in that. They do.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 04:26 PM
Jon Benson said:
At times we all wonder why we do what we do. I only have to read my email to be reminded. So lucky… so lucky.
You are all such wonderful souls. Thank you for your trust, your time and your gracious words.
Jon
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 04:37 PM
Diane said:
Jon
Thank you for your inspiration. I also take care of both my parents in their 80’s and sometimes I forget to let them know how special they are and to thank them for everything. We live together so I often take them for granted. I will be giving them a big hug!
Thanks!
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 04:38 PM
Penny said:
Jon, what a wonderful tribute to your parents. I wish you comfort in this difficult time. I am blessed to have very active and consequently healthy parents. Thanks for helping me reflect on what matters and to try and carry the torch of the values of the generations before us. I was privileged to have great childhood where we rode bikes, played in the fields for hours, swam all summer, etc, and am saddened of all of the electronic disconnection that inhibits my child’s generation from being active and in community as a part of life. Thanks for your reflection.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 04:54 PM
Clemence A. Mapatac said:
Jon,
I am very sorry for your loss Jon.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 05:12 PM
Cal Smith said:
Jon, the true measure of any parent, is in the depth of the love they earn from their children. Obviously, your parents were very special people. And you are a very special son.
PS. What a great-looking family you were!
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 05:15 PM
Cal Smith said:
Jon, the true measure of any parent, is in the depth of the love they earn from their children. Obviously, your parents were very special people. And you are a very special son.
PS. What a great-looking family you were!
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 05:16 PM
Renae Richardson said:
Hello Jon
I read your posting and I felt as if I must add just a little something.
Life is an amazing thing in fact many refer to it is a process by which we learn and we share. We grow, devleop, and then we help others in ways that we could never imagine. It is a long process but an enjoyable one. The thing is, we begin with nothing but we we end with everything. When we have learned all we can and shared all we could then we reach our journeys end. We are all blessed when we have people in our lives who recognize the joys and the true meaning of life and how to navigate the journey. We can see a real life example right here. I can see that your mother and your father really touched your life and as a result you are touching and helping to transform the lives of a innumerable mass. Don’t ever stop what you are doing because in enriching the lives of others you keep the spirits of your mom and your dad alive.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 05:23 PM
Kostas Marangopoulos said:
What a beautiful honoring tribute, Jon. I am very sorry for your loss. May God rest her soul. I am sure both your parents look at you from above smiling & feeling happy for who you are and what you have achieved.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 05:37 PM
Barbara said:
Jon
Sorry for your loss……I too lost both of my parents..my Dad in ‘91 @ 53 of a heart attack then my Mom in ‘97 of Lou Gert… I still miss them both. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
may GOD bless you, Barbara
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 05:42 PM
Edward Schuh said:
Jon, Just a quick note to share my sincere thoughts and prayers with you and your family. The message you sent out today really touched me as I lost my mom almost two years ago. We are both blessed to have had great Moms who shaped us, but more importantly really loved us.
I am sure she was very proud of you and your accomplishments in fitness, business but more importantly as a man. Your care and kind heart shines through in your writing and products. Your Mom raised a true gentleman!
God bless you and I hope your Moms love will get you through this difficult period.
In my thoughts and prayers you all will remain,
Edward
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 06:06 PM
Michael said:
Dear Jon,
A truly moving tribute.
The way your mother lived is an inspiration to us all.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 06:12 PM
Sharon said:
Jon,
Thank you for sharing this most intimate part of your life - I am so sorry for your loss. Both of your parents would be so proud of the man you have become - honest, sincere, thoughtful and grateful, and willing to serve. You and I are the same age, but I still have both of my parents, thankfully, and they are both active, fit and healthy. Like you, I consider my parents to have been the greatest who ever lived - I often tell people that if they weren’t my parents, they would be my best friends - I don’t just love them, I like them so much too.
You have written such a beautiful tribute to two obviously wonderful human beings - thank you so much for sharing your love for them with us. Keep up the wonderful work you do - you have yet again inspired me to be the best I can be, including the best mother I can be, and the healthiest long-lived person I can be.
Take care and God Bless.
Sharon
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 06:13 PM
Alan McGarrity said:
Our heartfelt condolences at this time.
God Bless you.
Alan
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 06:19 PM
Alan McGarrity said:
Our heartfelt condolences at this time.
God Bless you.
Alan
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 06:19 PM
vaughn said:
My deepest condolences, it is all parents most precious treasure to see their own child to grow to become everything they could have dreamt and more.
God Bless
Vaughn (Australia)
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 06:33 PM
Dale said:
Jon-
My condolences on the passing of your mother and thank you for sharing her with us through your tribute. A great way of showing how much of an important influence she was in your life! My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 06:40 PM
Lynne King said:
We are none of us too adult to dread becoming orphans Jon.
There are four things we can all do in the face of such loss which will help us to carry on without them
Honour the memory of our parents by living the life they gave us to the fullest.
Strive to be the best we can be in the light of their love.
Take strrength from their pride in the human being they helped to shape.
Know that we are never really alone, they live on in our hearts and minds through their teaching and guidance, and wherever they may be they will always be watching over us.
- as a mother I know these simple truths are also our dearest wishes for our children
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 06:44 PM
Kelly said:
What a wonderful testimony of life and family. While a sad time, it is not forever! You will all be united on the otherside of eternity!
You are a very strong person Jon Benson, keeping up with your activities during such a stressful time. I am entering that time now with my parents.
God Bless YOU!
Kelly
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 06:44 PM
John Slosek said:
Hi Jon Sorry for your loss… You are in our prayers…..God Bless
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 06:47 PM
John Slosek said:
Hi Jon Sorry for your loss… You are in our prayers…..God Bless
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 06:48 PM
Jeff said:
Sounds like you had a great relationship with your parents. I’m sad to say that I have lived in South Korea for the past 7 years and don’t really miss my parents as a result of many fights, disagreements etc. All the best to you in the future.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 06:55 PM
Paula said:
I’m so sorry for your loss. My father passed away on Veterans Day last year and it’s been really difficult for me to come to terms with things like…I can’t call him for financial advice, I can’t pick his brain about good investments. I can’t give him a hug and tell him I love him.
I miss him alot.
He too had a accident. He was taking the flag down and the stool he was standing on tipped and he lost his balance and cracked his head open on a boulder. My father died on route to the hospital in a helicoptor. My dad was my mentor and my hero. My main goal in life has always been that my dad is proud of me. Parents give us so many gifts and it’s difficult to not have them around.
They are running with the angels. They are free and it’s always those of us that are left that are sad.
My heartfelt prayers are with you during this difficult time. I wish you peace and joy in knowing you had wonderful parents who loved you and celebrated the person you have become. That is a huge tribute to them. You are a inspiration to many. I am sure they are both watching over you and smiling.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 07:02 PM
Bing S said:
Very touching tribute to your parents, Jon.
In one sense, you are most fortunate. At your age, you had ample time to share life with them. I totally envy you.
I lost my Mom to cancer at age 5, my Dad to cardiac arrest, at 17. I always how it would feel to talk to them about adult life. My younger sibs often asked me what Mom was like. They were so young when cancer stole her from us.
And yes, it’s true that we can never be like our Dads. The best that I can aspire for is to be half of what my Dad was. I’m pushing 55, but he died at 53, a widower, taking care of six kids whom he never saw graduate from college.
God bless you, Jon, for your paean to your parents. I’m looking forward to the grand reunion with mine some day.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 07:03 PM
Ruby said:
My birthday is on July 13, so thats really special about your mom.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 07:04 PM
Mark said:
Jon,
My deepest sympathies to you. Just remember, it doesn’t get easier, it just gets better. God bless.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 07:11 PM
Paul Gilbert said:
Jon,
I just want to thank you for your beautiful tribute to your Mum and Dad.
I’m sitting here choking back the tears, and thinking about the beautiful gift that our parents give us and which you so eloquently expressed … the gift of life. Thank you for reminding me of the gratitude I owe to my parents for the selfless love they have bestowed, (and continue to bestow), upon me and which I, much too often, take for granted.
God bless you Jon.
Paul
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 07:12 PM
Jill said:
Jon, I feel how you grieve the loss of your Mom at your side. I believe that she is still with you… inside of you now, rather than beside you. Caring for someone deepens the bonds, somehow. What a gift you gave your Mom - to show her the way to her own strength and fitness. I pray that you find solace in knowing that you gave her love that empowered her. I pray that you are comforted through this time of grief.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 07:16 PM
Kushal said:
I was really moved by your emotion and devotion. Surely your parents must be very proud and content because of you.
I hope many more Moms shall be able to have a healthy life because of you.
God Bless.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 07:19 PM
Bronwyn Sanger said:
Just a short note to let you know how much you are appreciated . All we have is the now and you are helping so many people acheive a healthier and happier life. Your parents with their love bought you into this world and with your love and passion you will help to make the world as we know it a much more wonderful place. Thankyou for helping to show others what love and care can bring to our lives and being an inspiration to so many. I still have both my parents and know how easy it is to just think they will always be there, your heartfelt story reminds us to always value what we have here and now because nothing stays the same forever.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 07:20 PM
Elisa said:
Jon, I’ve not posted for some time. I am sorry to hear about your mother’s passing but am sure that one of her greatest treasures was what a wonderful son she raised. I don’t think you can repay someone for your life but you can live your life as an inspiration to others to reflect the beauty of that person back to him/her and on to others.
You have done much to inspire, support and help. I am sure that both of your parents are around you and are very proud to still call you their son. God bless you as you go through the grieving process. I read a book recently called, The Lovely Bones. It is a very inspirational novel about death and the experience of living.
Best to you - this is a beautiful tribute to your mother.
Elisa
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 07:40 PM
Renee Weal said:
Jon:
Thanks you so much for sharing this deeply personal yet inspirational message. I know someday soon I will be going through similar experiences with my own parents and only hope and pray that I could be there as strong as you have been. You truly have so much to give and I feel blessed to be able to learn what I have from your lessons.
R
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 07:44 PM
Susie Pitt said:
Hi Jon,
May the love and peace of Gods understanding wrap around you and comfort you in this time …..can I say not parted forever only a moment in time.Your Mom is in a really great place now with your Dad and one day you will see them all again. Thats the great thing about having God in your life its eternal and we are only stepping from one room into the next. The pain is natural and the way we were designed to grieve….go with the flow keep remembering she has only passed into another dimension but now she is whole and pain and disease free……..a good place to be. Let the peace that passes all understanding be with you
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 07:49 PM
GM Mary said:
Dear GS Jon!
Thank you for sharing this beautiful tribute to your MOTHER (and DAD) . We needed only to read between the lines before, GS Jon, or share a conversation with you, to know they were very kind, honest and wonderfully loving parents.!! They had to be, to have guided a son as wonderful,caring,honest, kind, exciting and loving as you are!!
You also, have played a huge part in all that you have become, GS Jon.!!
GS Jon - you always spoke of your parents with such respect and with so much love - I’ve always thought :” What a very loving family “!!
You were such a kind and loving son GS Jon.!!
Great Parents — Great son!!
God Bless you, GS Jon!!
Thank you for all you do for all of us!!
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 08:03 PM
John Leu said:
Beautiful, you have realized the path to the Jaded life.
My warmest regards and wishes.
John Leu
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 08:10 PM
Tom said:
Jon. I am a nursing supervisor in a retirement home. We have a dementia unit at our facility and I see people with dementia in all stages of the disease. I live in New York and my mother died in Florida, so I rarely got to see her before she died. That you were able to keep your mother at home with you til the very end is a gift from God for both of you. I give you my deepest sympathy. God bless.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 08:18 PM
Brie said:
What an honor it is to read such a beautiful story Jon! I send condolences to you and your family on your loss.Many blessings to your great success helped by a strong family foundation:
Your Mom, Dad & their love story.
I have not lost my parents, but I treasure everyday with them and will also take your advice about time….
It is so brief. I know because I was born with a fatal genetic condition.
I have lost many friends starting in childhood.
My Mom & Dad too have been married many, many years( 47 years).
Thanks to you and your Mom ( gorgeous lady), I too will continue my quest to be the healthiest and most bodacious person I can be.
Pease & Blessings!
Brie
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 08:21 PM
Oscar said:
Wonderful tribute, Jon. Your mom was an inspiration as are you.
Thanks for sharing such a personal moment.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 08:54 PM
Maria Plesa said:
My condolenses to you Jon. Thank you for sharing this lovely tribute of your mother with all of us.
God Bless you, and may you find peace during this difficult time.
My prayers and my thoughts are with you.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 08:54 PM
Maria Plesa said:
My condolenses to you Jon. Thank you for sharing this lovely tribute of your mother with all of us.
God Bless you, and may you find peace during this difficult time.
My prayers and my thoughts are with you.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 08:55 PM
Kuldeep Kaur said:
Dear Jon,
You have been indeed blessed to have had such wonderful people as parents. Please accept my hearfelt condolences to you on the passing on of your mother. May God rest her soul in peace and give you strength to carry on in life……
God Bless You and thank you for always being there for us.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 08:56 PM
Kuldeep Kaur said:
Dear Jon,
You have been indeed blessed to have had such wonderful people as parents. Please accept my hearfelt condolences to you on the passing on of your mother. May God rest her soul in peace and give you strength to carry on in life……
God Bless You and thank you for always being there for us.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 08:56 PM
Joey Atlas said:
Jon - there is nothing more challenging than putting feelings, thoughts and emotions into words… and when you complete several paragraphs that are a million times more powerful and meaningful that what you thought you’d end up with… - to call it ‘moving’ would be an understatement…
It is quite clear how much you’ve had to be thankful for - and will have forever. - you deserve it, Jon.
Your parents raised a good man - and you prove it every day - a true testament to their devotion to each other, and you.
I’m proud to know you, Jon.
Very timely in that my parents just got into FL from NY and are with us for 10 days - I’m gonna go tell them how thankful I am (again) for all they’ve done for our family …
My heart is with you as you reflect on all the ‘good’ things…
Joey
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 09:25 PM
Eileen said:
Dear Jon,
You have my deepest condolences, and possibly more than most of the wonderful people that have sent their comments, I know exactly what you are going through.
My 99! year old mother-in-law took her last breath at 7:06 CST last night, July 13th. All the previous week she as on that “downward spiral” and we watched as her life ebbed away. She was alert and lucid up until the day before she died. .As late as Thursday we worked on a crossword puzzle and read her articles from the days paper. When she passed away there were four generations in the room (her great-granddaughter, grand-daughter and daughter (and me)).
She was born before women had the right to vote, and saw a woman and a black man viying for a presidential nomination. and she would have loved to be around to vote in the next election. But she could no longer see, or walk, or hear very well, and she knew it was time to move on. She never “exercised” but loved to walk, travel and dance. She was in a dance troupe of senior women in her 80’s - the Rockerettes.
Even when you are expecting it, even when you know it’s time, it is so emotionally wrenching to lose a parent.. Morn her loss, celebrate her life, and in time, you will be able to think of her without tears, and with a profound appreciation for having such a wonderful woman in your life.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 09:52 PM
Kim said:
Jon,
You are an inspiration and your mom and dad would be so proud of you!
Keep spiriting others on to good health…it’s your gift to us all.
kim
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 09:55 PM
Kimberly said:
Jon,
Your love and dedication to your mother shows through.
Peace be with you.
Kimberly
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 10:05 PM
JD said:
Jon:
My condolences on the passing of your sweet Mom. We also have a wonderful 87 year old Mom with Dementia and are going through similar circumstances. We are seven children, all above the age of 50, and we all take turns taking care of her. She did a lot for us; it is our turn to take care of her. Our father passed away 7 years ago and she took care of him single-handedly for 8 years. Your mother must have been so special also by the way you describe her. Thanks for sharing with us.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 10:14 PM
helen said:
With sympathy Jon:
It takes a humble man to have the courage to express his tears of deep sorrow and a heart full of love to a world of strangers. Thanks for allowing us to see a side of you that we would not have seen otherwise. Take Care..Helen Cowan
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 10:32 PM
helen said:
With sympathy Jon:
It takes a humble man to have the courage to express his tears of deep sorrow and a heart full of love to a world of strangers. Thanks for allowing us to see a side of you that we would not have seen otherwise. Take Care..Helen Cowan
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 10:33 PM
Roger Wheeler said:
Dear Jon,
My thoughts are with you on the passing of your mother. Your tribute to her came from deep in your heart. It seems that she was a truly wonderful person and the love and respect you have for her is immense. Please continue with all the good work you are doing, and be happy with the wonderful time that has passed, to be cherished and remembered always.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 10:46 PM
Marsha Jones said:
Dear Jon,
As I read your tribute to your mother you really captured my heart. I Know it’s hard right now and I was crying right along with you. It’s a great blessing to be raised in a household so full of love and dedication. Your mother passed on that love to you and the importance of sharing that love with others. What a great woman! Your parent’s love story that lasted so many years is a beautiful one. You have so much to be thankful for. May God continue to bless you in every area of your life.
With love,
Marsha
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 11:18 PM
Carl Van Meter said:
Dear Jon,
Since both of my parents are dead I know there is nothing I can really say to you. But you do have my condolences. I’m also sure you’re parents are very proud to have had you for a son.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 11:21 PM
ladan said:
Just wanted to express my deepest sympathy. Be asured that they are together somewhere in heaven.
I am a fan of your site and i came across it by accident but i have picked up great advice and feel that even your info is very relatable/ there is a sense of support and motivation..i am used to seeing your name in my inbox and its almost like getting mail from familiar friend, except we dont know eachother.
Again my heart goes out to you and i hope you get through this very difficult time in life. I have been through it myself and i know how hard it is. My best wishes and sympathy to you and yours.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 11:25 PM
Jessica said:
Jon,
A truly loving parent, as both of yours clearly were, loves and gives because they want to, expecting nothing in return other than your own happiness. You have given your mother so much to be proud of. I know that she knows how much you loved her; your actions proved that each day. Grief is normal and completely necessary when you lose someone you love. Allow yourself that time. She sounds like an incredible woman, and I’m sure the world benefited from having her. You showed her how to make the most of her years, and you were rewarded by sharing them with her. You are blessed. She and your father will be with you always. Thank you for bringing us into your life.
Posted on Jul 14, 2008 11:48 PM
Justyn said:
John,
From experience I can say that now, whenever you think of your mum tears will well in your eyes. Have faith that in time, whenever you think of her you will smile.
Keep up the good work.
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 12:12 AM
Bob said:
John,
Thank you so much for the tribute to your Mom. My Dad passed away in 2002. My mother at 85 is still going strong.
We do live in a fallen world, but there is a lot of beauty here too.
The beauty points to the Creator, and is one way that tells us both
silently and very loudly at the same time that He exists and cares for us.
Your Mom is home now and we will all get there.
My Dad told a story about what he ran across in the New Guinea jungle during WWII. The natives were having a wild party there. He asked what it was about. The answer was that one of them had died. At first, while this may seem strange, thoughtful reflection reveals that this truly is the way to understand death as believers. Those natives really did understand the big picture that we sometimes lose sight of.
God is good, and he will make everything right in the end.
We live today to enjoy God and to joyfully serve him. And it is apparent that you are doing that very well. You are helping many people live their lives with a much higher quality of life than they otherwise would. Thank you very much for all you do.
Bob
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 12:29 AM
Helen said:
We love you and your family, it is never easey!!! But it shows how love overflows everything. All blessings to you and yours. With prayers and love Helen & Robert
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 01:02 AM
sammy said:
Losing a parent is the worst thing that can happen in life, i had lost my dad when i was 14 dint really know what he meant in my life till i lost him there are still times when i feel that he is always watching over me.
Please accept my condolences and may God bless you and your family.
Sammy & Sohel
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 01:53 AM
Tikaram Dhopte said:
Jon,
I am sorry for your loss. You are still a great writer.
May God bring you peace. Thanks for sharing.
Tikaram Dhopte, Nagpur India.
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 02:49 AM
Karl said:
Hi John,
In the book of Proverbs (I forget the chapter and verse) it says that it’s better to be in a house of mourning than of one of laughter.
The reason is that when this terible thing happens, we are forced to take stock of our own life as well as reflect on the life record of our departed friend.
In your blog I can see you’re doing that and it’s great to see the esteem you held both of your parents in.
It’s still a hard thing to deal with, but deal with it you will.
Condolances,
Karl.
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 03:01 AM
tushar gondalia said:
Your mother turned god again. my eyes are wet.
tushar
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 03:07 AM
Karen said:
Dear Jon,
Bless you! Your parents were blessed also to have you as their loving son, as you were blessed having them as your parents. I wish you love & many, many wonderful memories. Cherish them. - South Australia
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 03:30 AM
Myriam De Clercq said:
Jon,
My mom is 84 now, and still doing so much for me.
Hope to be there for her when the time comes.
I also totally agree with you on how the generations of our parents and grandparents, those that were young during both world wars, are very special people.
Be proud, and be blessed!
Thank you,
Myriam
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 03:54 AM
Alison Adams said:
Dear Jon, what an inspiring story. You were very fortunate to have such a loving family and to have learned to love and respect your fellow humans. I think this is the greatest gift- I didn’t learn it from my parents ,but I hope that I’ve instilled this in my three grown up sons. My heart goes out to you for the loss you must be feeling at this time. Hold on to those lovely memories you have.
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 04:15 AM
Alison Adams said:
Dear Jon, what an inspiring story. You were very fortunate to have such a loving family and to have learned to love and respect your fellow humans. I think this is the greatest gift- I didn’t learn it from my parents ,but I hope that I’ve instilled this in my three grown up sons. My heart goes out to you for the loss you must be feeling at this time. Hold on to those lovely memories you have.
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 04:15 AM
Bill said:
Hi Jon,
The passing of your mom reminds me of the passing of my dad.
One truly feels how blessed they really are when they have wonderful parents who love each other all their lives, raise a family, all while giving then giving more of themselves. That was how my dad, God Bless, was , even when making the transition from operating a store to working for the government and a night job for a while to help our growing family
( the arrival of my great sister). Never complaining, instead keeping us together as a family sharing quality time when I’m sure now he was plain dog tired. But was a real inspiration to what family love is.
That is the same I can tell with your mom Jon. Truly a one of kind inspiration that we may never live up to, but be inspired to try.
To cherish each moment, all its’ wonders, with our family.
Thank you for sharing your mom’s inspiring story…may it be a true inspiration to us all to live…Cherish every moment God blesses us with.
For it is those times, those precious memories that are truly priceless treasures.
God bless and wish you all the best of success too Jon
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 04:31 AM
Mari Smith said:
Jon,
I so appreciate and admire your beautiful tribute here. You have a wonderful way of expressing yourself. Thank you for sharing such a healthy attitude to the cycle of life.
I aspire to your approach when the days come my parents make their transition… hopefully not for a while yet… though I’m a 40-something myself and often am present to the finiteness of our lives in human form.
Thanks for being you.
Cheers,
Mari
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 05:29 AM
Carmen Hudson said:
Hi Jon,
I get to see our seniors pass alot and to my surpise I know how blessed we are to have loved ones, in our lives that leave us with blessing far beyond what we can understand. You see I have an assisted care home for seniors and all my girls become my family in spide of this last month and a half lossing 3 was the hardest things I have experienced all of them were a great inspiration to me and the love we shared was all different, but very rewarding. In a month I will be bringing my parents to stay with me for awhile cuz Mom has an operation she is going to be facing and dad had a stroke 3 years ago along with me having breast cancer the day after my operation, Dad had his stroke, but all in all the blessing and inspiring moments with our loved ones has to be the greatness gift our heavenly Father can ever give. My prayer are with you and sucess it the limit Jon
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 05:37 AM
Carmen Hudson said:
Hi Jon,
I get to see our seniors pass alot and to my surpise I know how blessed we are to have loved ones, in our lives that leave us with blessing far beyond what we can understand. You see I have an assisted care home for seniors and all my girls become my family in spide of this last month and a half lossing 3 was the hardest things I have experienced all of them were a great inspiration to me and the love we shared was all different, but very rewarding. In a month I will be bringing my parents to stay with me for awhile cuz Mom has an operation she is going to be facing and dad had a stroke 3 years ago along with me having breast cancer the day after my operation, Dad had his stroke, but all in all the blessing and inspiring moments with our loved ones has to be the greatness gift our heavenly Father can ever give. My prayer are with you and sucess it the limit Jon
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 05:37 AM
Carmen Hudson said:
Hi Jon,
I get to see our seniors pass alot and to my surpise I know how blessed we are to have loved ones, in our lives that leave us with blessing far beyond what we can understand. You see I have an assisted care home for seniors and all my girls become my family in spide of this last month and a half lossing 3 was the hardest things I have experienced all of them were a great inspiration to me and the love we shared was all different, but very rewarding. In a month I will be bringing my parents to stay with me for awhile cuz Mom has an operation she is going to be facing and dad had a stroke 3 years ago along with me having breast cancer the day after my operation, Dad had his stroke, but all in all the blessing and inspiring moments with our loved ones has to be the greatness gift our heavenly Father can ever give. My prayer are with you and sucess it the limit Jon
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 05:37 AM
R. Allie said:
My heart goes out to you, the loss of a parent is always sad, no matter how old you are. Remember the things they taught you and remember that they live on through you. God bless
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 06:06 AM
Nicholas T said:
Thank you for sharing this with us John. I was moved to tears by your story and as I read through the comments. It is this kind of sharing that strengthens my resolve to do the right thing by myself and my family.
I’m finding that I’m appreciating and loving back my parents more every week and this story is a reminder that I can’t do enough loving.
Thank you.
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 06:37 AM
Elizabeth Chintengo said:
Jon,
My thoughts are with you , You really made your mother proud.
Im lucky I have my mother (68) and mu Grandmother (90) in relative good health .I do cherish very much.
Kind regards
Eliza
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 07:01 AM
Teresa said:
My Dear Friend, Your parents are also so lucky to also have a son like you, to write such a story of love and caring……..I’m fixing to have to go thur just what you have already lived, My Mom has had a life of indepentency and good health til last Sept 2007…since then she has really took turns, some days I think she’s back just to find out the next moment she’s somewhere else…its heartbreaking to see such a strong person, be totally opposite. She still lives and drives on her own and is not willing yet to give it up, BUT the constant changing her mind has wore me down and I know harder days will come…….So God Bless you and she’s now looking down at you and i know you will make her PROUD , by helping people to live like no one else can live.
Your awesome parents produced a awesome son.
Teresa
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 07:02 AM
Charlene said:
My thoughts and prayers are with you. What a wonderful tribute to your mother. Thank you for sharing.
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 07:04 AM
Shakuntala SB said:
Dear Jon :
Hello from India. I pray that both your parent’s soul rest in peace. I am deeply touched by your story.
I lost my father on May 18, 2004. Losing a parent or a loved one is always difficult to come to terms with.
You are right when you say, “Mind controls the body. Change it and the body changes” I have been facing health problems and doctor’s are baffled and given up.
I need guidance on how to control and direct my mind to heal my body. If you have any suggestions, they are most welcome.
Lots of love and giant panda hugs. Take care. God Bless.
Shakuntala
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 07:10 AM
Mike Pershing said:
Jon,
What a remarkable perspective you have about having your mother “living” another 8 yrs. It truly was a gift. It is a relationship I pray I can have with my mother before she is gone. I can believe your father is extremely proud of raising a son like you that would look after his princess in his absence.
This struck a chord i me; My mind controls my body - I must change it before I can change my body. Thank you for these words.
Your father and I share an interesting name - Pershing. Is he related to General John Pershing? The General is my Grandfather’s cousin.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family,
Mike Pershing
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 07:45 AM
dileepa said:
Hi John
You have softened my feelings.
Tribute to ur parents, ur self & family & most of all, to the Grand Ole lady.
Thanks for sharing.
take care.
dileepa
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 08:36 AM
dileepa said:
Hi John
You have softened my feelings.
Tribute to ur parents, ur self & family & most of all, to the Grand Ole lady.
Thanks for sharing.
take care.
dileepa
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 08:37 AM
Homer said:
IM SORRAY to here about your mom my prayers are with you &may god be with you!!!! take care homer.
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 10:06 AM
Geri Willingham said:
Jon,
You have reached and TOUCHED
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 10:24 AM
Geri Willingham said:
Jon,
You have reached and TOUCHED incredible numbers of folks with your beautiful tribute to your mom and dad and what they gave this world . Through you their love and the lessons of life continue. I feel privileged to have been able to hear your words and feel something of
the goodness that is possible for us during our short stay on this earth.
We hear so much of the pain humans inflict on each other. Confirmation that love and compromise and selflessness can be taught by example and generated - is such a gift and that’s what you’ve passed along to so many. Thank you.
Your loss is huge and my heart goes out to you. Being there, not just as your mom’s son, but her friend, her advocate just as she was for your dad all those years, just as she was for you all those years is the gift you could and DID give back….and no matter what, even at the worst of those last days, I believe she felt it.
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 10:56 AM
sean said:
“Stay Strong” might seem like a cliche Jon, but try to do so. You sound strong but it is inevitable that sorrow and pain will accompany your strength. Don’t fight it. It’s perfectly normal and grieving is essential. I litterally held my mom’s hand during her last breaths and felt as strongly as you seem to about the blessing of being able to call her “Mom”. Your mom sounds like like a wonderful woman. THey are too few and far between.
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 10:57 AM
Clark Bartram said:
very nice tribute Jon. I’m proud to be your friend and business partner. As lucky as you were to have your wonderful parents, that were, and still are, fortunate to have you as such a loving and considerate son. I know how you felt about your Mom and the grief of the last few days. Hang in there and I’m here when you need a friend to talk to.
Thanks
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 11:07 AM
Clark Bartram said:
very nice tribute Jon. I’m proud to be your friend and business partner. As lucky as you were to have your wonderful parents, that were, and still are, fortunate to have you as such a loving and considerate son. I know how you felt about your Mom and the grief of the last few days. Hang in there and I’m here when you need a friend to talk to.
Thanks
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 11:07 AM
Lorraine said:
What a wonderful tribute and what a loving son you are. I can only hope that my son feels the same way about me if the circumstances come to be similar. Our thought and prayers are with you.
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 11:33 AM
David said:
Dear Jon,
Your Mum and Dad are reunited now. You are a credit to them. God Bless you.
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 12:01 PM
Beatrice said:
My deepest sympathy Jon. I lost my loving and caring mom almost a year ago, and I still adored her independence and strength while she was still struggling with High blood pressure. She did everything on her own, and even walked to the hospital her, knowing little that she would return as we went. She passe on as if she only falling assleep. I know how you are feeling right now but thanks to you for the tribute to her memory. It is the only admirable and loving thing you could do.
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 12:04 PM
Jim Labadie said:
Jon,
So sorry to hear about your loss. I recently lost my 92 year old grandmother, but it’s not the same. You mom is different. You’ve done an amazing job with this tribute to your parents.
I’m sorry I missed the chance to speak with you this past December. Hope to talk soon.
Best wishes,
Jim Labadie
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 12:33 PM
Rosemarie Dunn said:
This is a most beautiful tribute to your mom & dad. They were truly exceptional. They did an excellent job in raising you. You are truly blessed to have experienced such love from your parents. Your story is an inspiration to me. This is how I want my children to remember me. I have recently embarked on living a healthier lifestyle by changing by diet and excercise routine. You have strenghtened my resolve to continue on the healthy path to improve my quality of life now and in the future. I’ll remember “My mind controls my body”.
May you find comfort as you grieve.
Thanks for sharing.
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 12:48 PM
Roberto García said:
Dear Jon,
Thank you for sharing this saddest of moments.
What a wonderful lady your mom was, what a man she leaves for us, what a model to follow.
Since things were taken care of, feel glad you were able to do for her as she did for you.
God bless.
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 01:28 PM
Debbie said:
I loved your tribute. I too lost my mom at 82 under very similar circumstances 4 years ago. We all want our parents to keep hanging in there for us. Once we realize they are tired and ready to go, we need to respect that. We also need to remember they were more than just parents to us, they had a full life beyond being a parent. I love the fact you took her for a corn dog and ice cream. Jon, just remember…your mom’s last breath on earth was her first breath in heaven.
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 01:28 PM
Vince DelMonte said:
Hey champ.
I’ll be thinking and praying for you and I want to thank you for sharing your tribute and the celebration of your Mom’s life and how she LIVED!
Wow… you’re parents gave you an amazing gift and left an incredible legacy behind - setting the bar as “impossible role models!”
It’s awesome to hear how much your parents loved each other and created a vision to show you what is actually possible.
God bless you bro,
Vince
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 01:31 PM
Phil said:
Hi Jon,
What a wonderful tribute to your mother.
Thank you for sharing the story on how your mother lived. It is truly an inspiration to those of us who are in a similar position with loved ones right now.
I will remember you in my prayers.
Sincerly,
Phil
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 03:31 PM
Val said:
Hi Jon,
My deepest condolences to you on losing your mother. The tribute was moving. My mother lost her battle with cancer just over 1 year ago so I know the loss you must be feeling. May God and the beautiful memories you have see you through this trying time.
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 03:54 PM
Jane said:
Dear Jon,
Thank you for sending your mother’s tribute. I lost my mom 2 years ago this October. I had just started working with her and my dad doing strength training exercises because I could see her declining so fast. She was 78, six days away from 79. Since she has been gone, my father has suffered a lot of grief, but he claims that I saved his life by working with him to strength train. Thanks to you and your fit over forty book and emails, my dad is lifting weights, brought down his cholesterol and triglicerides to normal and hasn’t had any falls despite his neurological damage to his feet and ankles. He’s 81 and moving forward to help others. He works part time at his church in the office, he is a chaplin , giving classes to inmates at the jail and he has friends and gets out a lot. We are so thankful to have him and I want to thank you for the inspiration that you have been to us. Also, I have become a personal trainer this past year and have started training people in my home. I know you will have inspiration from your mom to keep helping others and blessing so many.
Thanks again, Jane
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 04:19 PM
Deirdre said:
Sympathy & heart felt condolences …… to a man …. who’s obviously an inspiration to many .. in this modern world of instant gratification, we forget to appreciate the simply, basic instincts that are the vital rules of life! may the love & respect your parents inspired, give you strength to continue teaching & helping so many .. who’ve either lost direction, or were less fortunate. That is the best gift of appreciation you can give & never, ever, under estimate, the value this bestows ……….
Peace be with you & a long healthy life of happiness ahead.
Respectfully
Deirdre
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 04:29 PM
irwina said:
Jon
please accept my condolence on the death of your mother.
You was a wonderfull son.
My deepest sympathy, and keep up the good work.. God bless you
Irwina
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 05:13 PM
irwina said:
Jon
please accept my condolence on the death of your mother.
You was a wonderfull son.
My deepest sympathy, and keep up the good work.. God bless you
Irwina
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 05:13 PM
Don said:
Sorry for your lost. My Dad also had a change of Address a month ago. They both reunited with the Oneness. We should both be happy for them.
God Bless, Don
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 06:44 PM
Barbara said:
Hi Jon, Im very new on your site. thank you so very much for your story.It has opened my mind as we only have so many days left to do what we need to do. I lost my Father very young at 59 . Well I just passed that this year , now im 60. I need to get serious now and I am very serious about keeping healthy . I have two beautiful grandchildren, i hope I can see grow up. Thanks for your inspiration. Thanks Barb
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 06:54 PM
Barbara said:
Hi Jon, Im very new on your site. thank you so very much for your story.It has opened my mind as we only have so many days left to do what we need to do. I lost my Father very young at 59 . Well I just passed that this year , now im 60. I need to get serious now and I am very serious about keeping healthy . I have two beautiful grandchildren, i hope I can see grow up. Thanks for your inspiration. Thanks Barb
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 06:55 PM
Patricia said:
May you find joy and peace in your memories.
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 07:05 PM
Dave said:
Jon,
You wonder “…you know… you never really do enough. How can you? How can you possibly repay someone for your life? How can you make “that” state okay? How can you be okay with saying to the doctor, “Okay. Let her go.”
On first blush, i agree, it is an impossibly difficult question to answer. But if we stop using our heads and use our hearts, the answer is as simple as it is can be. How?
Love. Love others like your parents loved you. Love life like you parents loved theirs. Live. Live fully, happily, and with abandon. And laugh. Often. And a lot. Do that, and i believe your parents would be proud and feel fully repaid.
Here’s is my favorite quote of all time from a book i read decades and decades ago.
“Whoever or whatever it is that gives such things gives us our essence at birth.
That essence then begins to unfold.
To watch it unfold is to live.
To watch it unfold with confidence and good humor is to follow the Way.”
It sounds like your parents understood that very, very well.
Best of luck.
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 07:08 PM
Len said:
Hi Jon,
My deepest condolences for your loss. I lost my mother a couple of years ago, and found the tears welling up as I read you loving and devoted dedication to your mother and father.
I know that with the support of your extended family that you will get through this, and at this sorrowful time when words can never quite express how you feel, a cuddle speaks volumes.
Don’t rush the return to work, but I look forward to more of your inspirational contact.
Warmest regards,
Len
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 07:09 PM
Debbie S said:
Hi Jon. I have been receiving your emails for some time now but I have never contacted you before. I really appreciate that you give so much of yourself. Your passion about what you do really inspires me. As a mother myself, I know that all I would ever want for my son is for him to live his passion. The way you are living your life is the ultimate honor for your mom.
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 07:31 PM
Jackie said:
Hi Jon, I am so sorry to hear of your mom’s death. Even though death is inevitable we still grieve and feel the pain when someone very close dies. You loved your mom and you will continue to love her in spirit and well as your dad. Looking forward to you inspiring me again. Take your time, time is a great healer. God Bless you.
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 07:49 PM
Jackie said:
Hi Jon, I am so sorry to hear of your mom’s death. Even though death is inevitable we still grieve and feel the pain when someone very close dies. You loved your mom and you will continue to love her in spirit and well as your dad. Looking forward to you inspiring me again. Take your time, time is a great healer. God Bless you.
Regards
Jackie,Barbados
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 07:49 PM
Patti said:
Dear Jon,
No words can soothe your heart when you lose someone you love, but you have wonderful memories and can be grateful for the love and time you had with your mother. She sounded like a wonderful lady! I also lost my mother last year, lost my dad in 1996. I still miss them. Your tribute was beautiful to both your mother and dad, and your love for them came through.
Take care,
Patti
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 08:09 PM
Patti E. said:
Hi Jon,
I’m so sorry for your loss. There are no words that will heal your pain. To know that others are praying and keeping you in thought is a tribute to you and your Mom and Dad. I lost my Dad 10 yrs ago and am still blessed with my Mom, age 82, just beginning intermittent dementia and mini strokes. Reading your memorial confirms that to give of oneself is not only priceless, but fulfilling in a bittersweet way. Your parents have left behind quite a legacy, as I see it, and quite a son. How proud they must be.
Thank-you for the years of inspirations and truths.
God Bless You,
Patti E.
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 09:03 PM
Jim Pinto said:
Hi John,
I am not going to try to tell you that I know how you feel. We all have our own way of greiving, and wondering if we did enough, or did it right, we always second guess, but in truth we can only do our best the rest is up to God.
My friend I have lost men in combat, I lost a daughter at 22 in a car accident, but like your Mom, she was my hero. You see John three people live today because of my Sonia! Her heart beats strong in someone elses body, her liver has given another a chance to thrive in this world, her kidneys filter for another so they might enjoy the gift that God has given them. I want you to see John that she still lives here on earth, and now they all sit together at the feet of the King of Kings, alive and intact, in perfect health.
I to lost my parents John, I to second guessed myself on every loss, but in truth we can only do our best, hold our heads high, ask the Lord to see us through our tribulation. I can tell you that He is there now with you, He was with you and your parents on their journey home, and He and your parents will be there with you when you are called home. I’m not a writer my friend, but I know for sure that you will be with them again someday as I will be with my loved ones. We are just passing through, but where we are going is paradise filled with love and celebration. I love you my brother, if you ever need me don’t hesitate for one second to call on me, as you were there for me, I will be there for you. Please find comfort in these words that follow.
The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
He leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul:
He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name’ sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil: For thou art with me;
Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies;
Thou annointest my head with oil; My cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the House of the Lord forever.
— KJV
I love you my brother
Jimmy
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 10:17 PM
Jeff said:
Jon,
Like many others who have written, I too am moved by your tribute to your mom. May your many memories bring you peace and comfort. You are an inspiration to many and your parents are proud!
My Condolences to you.
Jeff
Posted on Jul 15, 2008 10:54 PM
Thomas said:
My condolences go out to you and your family. I can tell your mother was an awesome person and that you loved her very. Your tribute to your mom was definitely very moving. I will keep you guys in my prayers.
Posted on Jul 16, 2008 12:25 AM
Rosemary Kungu said:
Jon,
My condolences go to you on the passing on of your mother. The tribute you have made to her is beautiful and it is evident you shared great love with your parents. I pray that Jesus comforts you and gives you peace beyond understanding.
Rosemary, Kenya
Posted on Jul 16, 2008 03:19 AM
Ursula said:
Dear Jon
I am so sorry for your loss. Your parents were awesome people and your tribute to your mom wonderful. I am also in the lucky position to have awesome parents although my dad has passed away 2 years ago. Wish everybody could have loving, Godfearing, patient, parents like we have (had). But your moving story has inspired me to look with new eyes at my mom, now 82. Sometimes I forget that life is short and I just take her for granted. Thanks for your story.
I really think you are a special person, the way you try to help other people with your e-mails etc and the way you talk about your mom and your dad. It is surely an inspiration to me. May God bless you!!!
Ursula, South Africa
Posted on Jul 16, 2008 05:20 AM
Dino, Barrie, Ontario, Canada said:
Hi Jon,
My sincerest condolences to you and your family. I lost my mom to cancer 5 years ago and miss her every day. She was my rock, my inspiration and my mentor and I do understand your loss.
Keep up the great work and may God bless.
Dino
Posted on Jul 16, 2008 07:10 AM
Deborah said:
Dear Jon,
Thanks for sharing such a privileged experience with your fan. I am 62 and I appreciate good health. I have benefitted immensely from your messages and thissssssssss!
I thank God for your mother whom God has endowed with such a loving family. There is no doubt she has lived a special life which is beyond the reach of most people judging by the ever reccuring news of divorce, poverty, familial tragedies and chronic illnesses.
I guess God blessed her for faith in Him and her ability to adjust to the changing times. Our mind, not age, is what to watch if we set out to live long and in perfect health.
Yours are tears of joy.
Posted on Jul 16, 2008 08:10 AM
Joe said:
Jon,
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
I am sure that they are both very proud of you and the work that you are doing.
Stay Strong,
Joe C.
Posted on Jul 16, 2008 08:24 AM
Penne said:
Jon, that photo of you & your mom was one of the first things which impressed me when I came across your site last year. Her experience, sheer determination, and outright spunk reassured me that I was right about the possibilities for my own parents’ health recovery.
Mom had major surgery a couple of years ago at the age of 81 and decided to place Dad (age 82 at the time and incapacitated with “symptoms of Alzheimer’s”) in the local Vets Home for temporary care. There were complications (she’s a chain smoker with all the usual associated ills) and by the time she finished rehab four months later, they informed her that he was too far gone to send home again. This was their first separation in 60+ years of marriage, with the exception of the War years.
I offered to take them both into my home, but Mom is very independent and has no desire to move two states away from family and friends, or have Dad living any further from her, which I can understand. She believes the doctors when they say that their health issues are primarily age-related, for which there is no “cure” but death.
So, your mom was indeed an exceptional woman with an exceptional son!! I have lived my hopes and dreams for my own parents vicariously through your experience, and I am eternally grateful to you both for showing me that I wasn’t totally off the wall for believing that the outcome could’ve been so different for us all!! You can be proud of your efforts, because I know your folks are smiling down on you right now :D.
Much love & admiration,
Penne
Posted on Jul 16, 2008 08:34 AM
Cynthia said:
Thank you for your tribute. Your mother would be so proud of you. She did right by you, and because of that, you’re here, loving her, always.
Posted on Jul 16, 2008 09:19 AM
Anthony C said:
Jon,
Thank you for sharing your truly heart felt tribute to your Mom. A prayer goes out to you for peace of mind and to your parents for their contribution in this world.
What caught my eye in this trubute was the coincidence in them being the same age at their death. My parents, too, died at the same biological age but 8 years apart. They, too, had endured hardships throughout their lives that not only defined their integrity but shaped the lives of their 9 children (me being the youngest).
So let the tears roll, you edge boomer, because you have every reason to feel a loss. Just remember to follow that up with rejoice and celebration that your parents are free from the bounds of this existence and together again in another. People together that long on this plane bring to mind the term “soul mates”. While that is another topic altogether for another time, it is yet another common trait I saw in my parents as well (55yrs married).
You are now the continuation and celebration of what they started. You ARE doing a good service to your community and fellow mankind.
I welcome you to the 40 something (and up) generation and look forward to your future newsletters.
Peace Brother,
Ant
Posted on Jul 16, 2008 05:09 PM
Nancy said:
What a truly wonderful and inspirational story. It has moved me in more ways than you will ever know.
Please accept my deepest, most heartfelt condolences. My prayers are with you and yours.
I will say nothing further as I am sure you have read it all.
With Love and Gratitude,
Nancy
Posted on Jul 16, 2008 10:12 PM
Lianne said:
Hi Jon!
I’m very sorry for your loss. You are truly a remarkable son. I see the effects of what dementia and alzheimers has on people every day. I am a registered nurse in a dementia assisted living facility. I see so many suffer through this disease alone without their families support. I admire you as a person, a son and a man. God bless you and all that you do for yourself and others. Your mother was a very beautiful women and it is so nice to hear about such a love storey between a couple.
Love and health - Jon!
Take care.
Lianne
Posted on Jul 16, 2008 11:04 PM
John Asarian said:
Jon, thank you for sharing your loss with all of us. My deepest sympathy for your mom’s passing. I ‘ve also lost both of my parents (years ago) and my only sibling, my brother, very recently. Know that Flow would be very proud of your continued contributions to the world. I appreciate your teachings because they are scientific, and are truly based on your desire to improve health and quality of life.
See you in Atlanta for the reunion.
John Asarian, MD
Posted on Jul 17, 2008 12:06 AM
Dorothy said:
John,
Please accept my sincere sympathy on the loss of your Mom. The way she lived her life was inspirational to all of us.Yet you were the one to inspire her.
We are all honored to know you and appreciate your tireless work and efforts in helping others.
You were blessed with such a wonderfull, loving parents and they must be very proud of you, watching you now.
MayGod Bless You and may all our love ease your sorrow.
Dorothy
Posted on Jul 17, 2008 01:00 AM
Desiree ( Australia) said:
Dear Jon,
your inspirational tribute to your beautiful mother was just that inspirational. It has helped me to see the glass half full and to appreciate the dear ones in my life..thank you.
Posted on Jul 17, 2008 02:36 AM
Linda, South Africa said:
Dear John,
I am a new reader of your block but would like to offer my condolences on the loss of your mother.
I believe that children choose their parents, and quite clearly a remarkable child chose equally remarkable parents.
Although life ends, love never dies - and the total love and devotion that your family shared in life will continue.
It has been a priviledge to learn about such a wonderful family - and I am incredibly envious.
much love
Linda
johannesburg
South Africa
Posted on Jul 17, 2008 03:34 AM
Gopal Rao said:
A very moving tribute, John, and am I glad I took the time to read it. Reminded me a lot of what I felt myself when my mom crossed the river on Dec 25th 2003, but I just couldn’t express it the way you have. And your parents must have been great people, no two ways about that.
Condolences, yes, and thank you for communication.
K. Gopal Rao
Posted on Jul 17, 2008 05:54 AM
Ray said:
Based on what you related about your Mom, Jon, your story,
memories, etc. very closely parallel mine of my Mom and Dad….Dad passed at 62 and Mom was without him for 38 yrs. (lived until 98) and thrived on most of it up until the last month ! She beat our two boys at “Trivial Pursuit” when she was in her late 80’s (teenagers) and drove her Buick Skylark
until she was 88……I use to catch her doing her situps in her room sometimes, so I knew she cared about her fitness and
always eat good foods (and a few goodies). I know your grateful for the great memories, as I am !
LAL,
Ray
Posted on Jul 17, 2008 07:00 AM
Gianni said:
Jon,
I feel your pain, and have been in your shoes, and I just want to say “I’m sorry for your loss”. One individual alone falls short, but many individuals together form a “chain” that stands and works together.
United we stand divided we fall!!!
-Gianni
Posted on Jul 17, 2008 07:03 AM
Laura said:
Jon,
This is a loving tribute, God granted you a great Mom
Please accept my deepest condelences and a heartfelt prayer.
Losing a Mom is devastating, mine’s been with God since 11/20/93, 2 days after my birthday…
Be blessed.
-Laura
Posted on Jul 17, 2008 08:20 AM
aletha said:
Hey Jon,
I am so proud of you for journaling your thoughts, and memories of your Mom! She sounded like an awesome lady to have been around!
What a Blessing and what a legacy you have been honored with! The life God is blessing you with to continue onward is exactly what it sounds like your Mom would have wanted of you! My prayers are with you now and in the future! Blessings on your continued strength from within!
aletha
wichita falls, texas
Posted on Jul 17, 2008 11:31 AM
Nelda said:
Jon,
Your Mom is an inspiration not only to you but to all you’ve shared with. God bless.
Posted on Jul 17, 2008 01:15 PM
Julie said:
Jon,
A wonderful tribute to your mother, and your father. You have been blessed, and you are a blessing to others.
We send you condolences and our prayers.
Julie
outback Australia
Posted on Jul 17, 2008 11:59 PM
Francesca said:
Dear Jon,
Like everyone who has sent their condolences, I am uplifted and inspired by your story.
My mother is 84 and fast declining in health and mental capacity. Your words have clarified for me what I must do. I must give her the time and attention she deserves, as she gave me when I was a child.
Thank you for sharing so bravely and being a wonderful role model for living a good life. You show the way in more than simply health and physical fitness.
Your parents have had a far-reaching effect in the world through you.
My sincere condolences, may you find comfort in the love and support of your friends and family.
Posted on Jul 18, 2008 12:33 AM
Francesca said:
Dear Jon,
Like everyone who has sent their condolences, I am uplifted and inspired by your story.
My mother is 84 and fast declining in health and mental capacity. Your words have clarified for me what I must do. I must give her the time and attention she deserves, as she gave me when I was a child.
Thank you for sharing so bravely and being a wonderful role model for living a good life. You show the way in more than simply health and physical fitness.
Your parents have had a far-reaching effect in the world through you.
My sincere condolences, may you find comfort in the love and support of your friends and family.
Francesca in Australia
Posted on Jul 18, 2008 12:34 AM
Esther said:
Jon,
That was a beautiful out-pouring of your heart. What wonderful parents you were blessed with, and what honor and tribute you express. Thank you for sharing your life with us. God Bless.
Posted on Jul 18, 2008 12:54 PM
Don said:
You know Jon I didn’t know that your mother passed away. I am truly sorry to hear that. Not all of us have had a lot of personal losses. I am 64 and both of my parents are still alive. But my dad of 91 is dying of lung cancer, and throat cancer. He has not been told how much time he may left. But as far as personal losses go I never had any until the yr. 2000. I lost my wife, my mother in law three (3) mos. later, then my dog and cat. I also lost my second wife in 2006. That was perhaps the hardest loss for me.
I understand what you are going thru. I can’t say I know and feel what you are going thru, just that I understand what you are going thru. I know that you will get thru this, but you will never forget her. And you never should. You know there is an old saying, goes like this: “Time heals all wounds”. Don’t believe that for a heart beat. Time does not heal all wounds. Time helps you to be able to talk about it much easier, but it certainly does not “heal”. I will never forget my wives, and I certainly don’t want too. I want to remember and cherish those precious moments together, the dreams that we had, the things that we never got to do, and of course the things that we did do together.
What you wrote about you and your mom was very nice. Heartfelt by many.
Take care,
Don
Posted on Jul 18, 2008 02:21 PM
Gail Keown said:
Dear Jon,
My sincere sympathies on your loss this week. This is the first opportunity I’ve had to check my personal mailbox this entire week only to find this great and very personal/public tribute of yours.
I’m probably much younger than most of your readers not nearly close to 40 but I can’t wait to get there. I still have both my parents who are still youths compared to your parents ages, but not so healthy. My father has been disabled for more than 10 years and my mother has recently been diagnosed with diabetes and has to take blood pressure medication as well (this has been a family killer since my mother’s mothers days (my gran died at age 64 due to diabetes complications and this is the age both my parents are currently at). I am the last of the 5 siblings to be living with them and it’s a mutual arrangement of caring for each other these past 14 years. My mother has taken great control of her diabetes and keeping the blood pressure under control and I’d like to think that it’s my influence at work in this case, keeping them in check…”that’s not a good way to cook anymore mom, all that starch in one meal, let’s try these new meal ideas, courtesy of Jon Benson & Mike Geary” thanks guys. You inspire me to be the best and healthiest I can be because if I don’t take care of me, whose going to take care of my parents? Living with the folks isn’t always the easiest thing in the world…they can be so stubborn and set in the old ways and its frustrating and challenging but it sure has its moments of great entertainment and joy and I wouldn’t have those moments if I wasn’t living here.
My dad falls often (due to his disability) as he is losing the use of his right leg, (nerve damage from his youth will have him paralyzed completely on the right side and it can’t be fixed so it’s just a matter of precious time) ..and it pains me to have seen the calf muscle, quads and glutes that were most prominent from his active cycling days to the waste that it is today in such a short period of time. I fear he his losing his patience having to rely on others to do simple things he should still be able to do easily at his age. I try to play the innocent “I’m a woman what do I know” card as often as possible to give him things to do (I could easily do them myself..I’ve had to learn)…I wonder if he knows… It doesn’t really matter if does because he lights up at any opportunity to be able to do something for someone else for a change and that’s great to see…Parents are a gift and even if they aren’t the greatest they are greatly responsible for who we are and what we become whether we choose to follow in their footsteps or not.
Thanks so much for all the sharing you do with the world, I’m in Cape Town South Africa and you’re important in my life even though you don’t know me…keep up the good work and thanks again.. you’ll be in my prayers for strength to get through the lonely and painful times when you miss your mums laugh, smile, touch, smell and warmth and your fathers strength and wisdom.
Best and warmest wishes
Gail
Posted on Jul 19, 2008 01:48 AM
Don said:
Dear Jon,
My condolences and my thoughts have already been expressed by the wonderful reponses to your wonderful tribute. You are the outcome of your parents love and they would have had a very proud and happy time throughout their life.
Warmest regards
Don (Australia)
Posted on Jul 19, 2008 07:05 AM
M said:
I am sorry for your loss & happy for your gain, i.e., a wonderful full life & love along the way. Peace…
Posted on Jul 19, 2008 01:36 PM
Brian - Ex-Navy Seabee said:
Thank you for sharing that story - I lost both my parents and it still hurts when I think about all that there was still left for us to share on this earth - my dad was 66 and my was 72 - young - both to cancer - which was a slow moving but deadly desease.
Be well Jon and thanks for the inspiration!
Posted on Jul 20, 2008 06:44 AM
Susan James said:
Jon
I’m truly sorry that your Mom has passed on. Please know that she and you have inspired others of us and our loved ones to exert mind over body and stay active and alive. Please take comfort in the knowledge that you and your parents have made a huge difference for many. Thank you.
Posted on Jul 20, 2008 10:09 PM
Phyllis said:
Jon,
What a beautiful tribute to your Mother! I know she is pleased!
I lost my Mother 3 years ago. I think it was the hardest thing that I have ever lived through. I still miss her so much. I was just in the kitchen playing with my precious 6-month old puppy a few minutes ago, and I told her that my Mama sure would have loved her. I relate so many things to her. That makes me smile a lot and sometimes cry a lot.
I was also blessed to have had a Mother who loved me so much.
You will be in my prayers. She is now with your Dad! Blessing to You!
Phyllis (from GA)
Posted on Jul 26, 2008 09:24 PM
Phyllis said:
Jon,
What a beautiful tribute to your Mother! I know she is pleased!
I lost my Mother 3 years ago. I think it was the hardest thing that I have ever lived through. I still miss her so much. I was just in the kitchen playing with my precious 6-month old puppy a few minutes ago, and I told her that my Mama sure would have loved her. I relate so many things to her. That makes me smile a lot and sometimes cry a lot.
I was also blessed to have had a Mother who loved me so much.
You will be in my prayers. She is now with your Dad! Blessing to You!
Phyllis (from GA)
Posted on Jul 26, 2008 09:24 PM
EveySue Spivey said:
Dearest Jon,
It was a selfless act, your loving your parents as you did (and do). We care for them tirelessly and pray that peace and comfort be theirs, always. We lost our sweet mom 3 years ago, and now pop will be 93 come winter. Our sis has had the honor of caring for them going on 4 years. Her acts of unconditional care, kindness and love is most certainly accompanied with the hand of Heavenly Father. I do believe your love is also. God bless you Jon, I know that your precious memories will remain in your heart forever. I also believe you will meet them once again, as your time to join them comes…It is our blessing.
Thank you for sharing your loving parents with us.
Posted on Jul 30, 2008 02:05 AM
Dwain said:
I’m sorry I didn’t read this sooner. My sincerest condolances to you; I lost my mother two years July, twelve days before she and Dad would have celebrated their 59th wedding anniversary. Dad was her full-time caregiver for eight years, after her second stroke within two days debilitated her. Up and including the day she had her first stroke, she walked five miles per day. She had a cholesterol problem and walked and ate what she knew she had to eat to keep her cholesterol down but would get frustrated that it didn’t seem to work as she thought it should. In the ten or more years (I have lost track) that she walked, the walking became a path for inward time and less the search for lower cholesterol. I know she is whole again, can walk and talk and laugh and smile, all the things she lost with the stroke and the eight years confined to a bed.
Thank you for sharing.
Posted on Aug 06, 2008 05:33 AM
Cordella said:
I am so sorry that I did not read this email before today. My most heart felt sympathies go out to you Jon, your family and all those who knew and loved your mother.
Posted on Aug 13, 2008 08:09 AM
Tess said:
i am sorry that I did not get to read you email in time to say what I wanted to say. My condolences, what a good son you have been to your mon and dad. A’lthough late, I am crying and thanking God for the life of such wonderful people. Your are in my prayers and I am forwarding this to my best friends and family to pray for u. God bless and give your mom everlasting peace.
Posted on Jan 19, 2009 12:56 PM
Bill said:
Hi Jon,
Rereading this again, and it still really hits home for me.
Reminds me of my father, an inspiration of a man, husband, and father I strive to live like, tall order, and like said it’s the journey that counts. Well, he taught to make the most of that journey, especially during those difficult times. He taught me those times are but a challenge so that we may grow developing into who we will become.
I hope to be at least half the man, husband, and father this wonderous soul was, and is…continuing to live on in memory as well as inspiration.
All the best to you Jon, and your family.
Thanks too, for being so motivating to get Your message out to so many, while inspiring so many more with your dedication and heart.
Bill
Posted on Aug 03, 2009 07:59 PM
Paul Smouse said:
Very good article. I’ve found your blog via Google and I’m really glad about the information you provide in your posts. Btw your sites layout is really messed up on the Kmelon browser. Would be really great if you could fix that. Anyhow keep up the good work!
Posted on Feb 05, 2010 06:14 PM