MasterMeals™: No, you don’t eat your leaders
Since the onset of our little adventure, I’ve been getting some of the same emails every day. Here’s a partial list, along with the partial answers:
1. Jon, are you a personal trainer? If not, what are your qualifications?
No.
“Qualifications”? Ah. Well… I attended Juilliard… I’m a graduate of the Harvard business school. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I’ve seen the EXORCIST ABOUT A HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SEVEN TIMES, AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT… NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU’RE TALKING TO A DEAD GUY… NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK?!? You think I’m qualified?
Oh, sorry.
That was Beetlejuice’s qualifications.
I just know my stuff. Live with it.
2. Jon, were you really that fat, and is that really your body?
Yes. I was even fatter at one time. Yes, those are my pants…and no, I’m not making “more room for Mr. Happy” in that particular pose.
As for the new body, that’s actually female bodybuilder Yaxeni Oriquen, 2005 Ms. Olympia, with my head Photoshopped in. I just removed the implants, chest hair, and about 40 pounds of muscle.
3. Jon, you’re a funny, attractive man. Are you single because you’re gay, have a thing against women, or are you just a social loser?
Funny. Straight. I’m not married because I may have offspring whose DNA is somehow associated with your own, which would put them at a slim but fortuitous risk of becoming utter morons.
4. Jon…there is a pile of twelve coins, all of equal size. Eleven are of equal weight. One is of a different weight. In three weighings find the unequal coin and determine if it is heavier or lighter.
About half past 3:15.
5. Jon, what the blazes is this whole MasterMeals thing, and why do you keep mentioning it? Is this something you do, buy or process through osmosis? How, oh HOW can I order TODAY??
Now this is a question worth answering. The others were just a lot of fun, don’t ya think?
MasterMeals is my own trademarked system of lifestyle eating. The reason I created it was kinda accidental. I was looking for a simple way to explain “why” you should eat a particular way rather than “how”. There are a billion (actually 1.34 billion) books on “how” you should eat. “Why” you should eat…well, that’s pretty raw territory. There are a few claim-stakers, but I killed them all first.
Wow, second death joke of the day. I’m getting morbid on this dark and stormy night.
“Why” is crucial. To me, this is always more important than “how”. If you’re committed to a large enough why, the how will always present itself. Yes, more M-Power principles for you to ponder, click on, and feed me. Let that sink in before going further.
Ready? Cool.
MasterMeals teaches you both why, how, and how to modify whatever nutrition scheme works best for your body to the MasterMeals pattern of eating.
One more rant: diet books mostly suck, too. Just like trainers, only their innocent sheets of paper written by people who suck. Don’t get me wrong, some are truly great. The ones I’m partial to are:
- BodyOpus by Dan Duchaine
- The Fat Burning Diet by Jay Robb
- The Ketogenic Diet by Lyle “Crazy Man” McDonald
- The Stone Age Diet by Walter L. Voegtlin
- Ripped (all the books are good) by Clarence Bass
- Burn The Fat, Feed The Muscle by Tom Venuto (one of the very best books on no-BS nutrition)
Decent books include “Body For Life” by Bill Phillips, “The Zone” by Barry Sears, and a few other select goodies.
Most of the rest make great kindling.
So, while MasterMeals is (a) a system; and (b) a book in the making, it is not a traditional system nor your typical book in the making. Really. It’s the “why” behind the “how”.
We have clients who like high fat, low carb nutrition like Atkins or South Beach on MasterMeals. We have clients who are vegans on MasterMeals. We have people like me who are Isocaloric at times, and very low carb at others on MasterMeals.
The darn thing is more flexible than teenagers from Romania.
So, just to be clear: the reason most of you are here is because diets never work for long, and very few systems work for much longer. What does work is a system that’s flexible; that changes as your body changes. Also, a system that’s adaptive to your particular needs. Some people thrive on vegetarian foods. God knows why, but they do. So what if my food eats their food?
Others need plenty of dead cow on their plate. No problem, Buck. We hate cows as much as the next guy.
The trick is in the ‘how’ behind the ‘why’ of the ‘how’.
I just lost myself…okay, I’m back.
Here’s what I mean: MasterMeals is very specific about how to eat and why you should eat that way no matter your protein, carbs or fat. What matters is your calories for one meal, and one meal only. Before you go off and assume that means you can eat whatever you wish except for one meal of straw and tea leaves, let me clarify: you base your daily meals off of your own “MasterMeal”. This is the optimal meal for ‘your body’ in one feeding, and is determined by our LifeAssess™ profile (well, that helps a lot, but you can do this on your own if so inclined) and answering the following questions:
- How many calories do I need to consume in order to feel slightly to moderately hungry 2-4 hours later?
- What is the proper ratio of protein, carbs and fat that will give me the most energy 1 hour after eating?
- How much time do I have to prepare my meals each and every week?
That’s really it. From those three questions (they’re a bit more challenging than they sound), you can develop a MasterMeals plan: one meal that you know rocks your personal world.
Then the fun part: eat. Some days you’ll eat 5-7 MasterMeals. Other days, only 3-4. Your body will decide, NOT your schedule. Eat when you’re hungry, but don’t go longer than 4 hours. If you do and you’re not hungry, back off on the calories of that MasterMeal. If you’re hungry every hour, up the calories. Simple, right?
Note that every meal has the same number of calories. That’s important. No snacking; only ‘feedings’. Why? Well, I’d tell you…but I don’t wanna.
Is that ALL? Well, no. We actually developed our own macronutrient system. You will not see it anywhere but on a personally-designed MasterMeals plan. Sorry…gotta make a living.
This is the deal: my staff of trainers and nutrition gurus are sitting around bored to tears. Actually they’re busier than worker bees on a honey strike, but that tugged at your heart strings a bit, eh? They really want to help you…and not just by tossing a generic MasterMeals plan at you and saying, “Good luck. Be ye warm and well-fed.”
Nay, child…nay. We stay with you for 90 days or longer if you wish. We also give you a workout based around your body type, goals, time to train, etc. These range from beginners who cannot leave the house to advanced bodybuilders who can’t leave the mirror.
Is that all Jon?
Hell no! There’s f-n MORE!
(I normally don’t swear so much, but come on…haven’t you always wanted to hear someone trying to sell you something, and hey, I am, just give it to you straight? Good…me, too.)
I toss in the first six weeks of M-Power for free, only to get you addicted to my booming voice and hit you over the head to subscribe for the full 48 weeks.
A full year of me. That’s more than my mom gets.
The basic MasterMeals plan is (no joke) less than the cost of two visits to one of the aforementioned sucky trainers: $99. You’ll spend that much this month on movies and a few nights out, so give me a break…it’s a bargain. Frankly, I make jack on it. I pay more to the training staff than I do myself. Crazy, eh? Not really…I make a small fortune on M-Power. Heh.
Once again: click here now if you want to get started on MasterMeals for $99. An assessment, a plan, a workout and 90 days of trainer coaching for 99 George Ws.
That’s too cheap…I’m upping the price. When? Hmmm….
Okay, that turned into a damn good, albeit strange sales pitch. So, on to the blog.
I ate exactly what I ate yesterday and the day before. HA! Fooled you into reading all of that, didn’t I! ( s u c k e r )
Actually, I’m just fulfilling the promise to finally shed some light on MasterMeals, why everyone should be doing it, and even how you can sorta-kinda-almost put it together on your own.
What…should I just give you my car while I’m at it? FEED ME!
If you have any questions, I’ll answer them. Maybe. Don’t know. Depends.
Speaking of feeding, I’m off to my last MM of the day…and it’s 3:00am. How strange AM I?
A small favor: go tell everyone about my blog, and mention this really honest, strange, curt, blunt, arrogant, sexy, witty, modest SUPER-genius who has a nifty new “diet”.
MasterMeals is the “anti-diet”, but everyone likes that 4-letter word for some reason. Until someone tells me why, I’ll keep mentioning stuff that actually works.
Okay by you? {10}
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Comments (21)
Bella said:
I like the 8 letter word ‘anti-diet’ more than the other 4 letter word (often refered to as ‘crap’!) Talking about trainers in the gym - I spoke to 3 trainers yesterday working at my local gym (and charging serious $$$ for their ‘expertise’) who told me nutrition wasnt that important…crazy! I wanted to kidnap their clients and take them to a better place - to your blog! Its unfair to mislead people who pluck the courage to lose weight only to be mis-guided by ‘professional’ trainers at the gym - it sucks!!
Posted on Nov 01, 2005 05:21 AM
Sarah said:
Oh my, don’t even get me started on trainers at the gym. Most of them certainly don’t even look like they practice what they preach…or maybe they do and thats the problem!! I did the Bill Philips Body for Life program 6 years ago and by the time I was done I had just about every 30-40 yr old mother asking me how I did it while working full time and being a single mom of 2 young girls. I doubt they were asking the trainers the same thing. So you are right…I personally don’t care who has what degree, what certificate what anything…. I think your experience says it ALLLLLL!!
I also have Tom Venuto’s Burn The Fat, Feed the Muscle, LOVE it. Told everyone about it (yes, people seem to still always ask me about fitness and nutrition, I guess I don’t look like your average 36 yr old mother of 2 teenage girls). I’ve also sent them all the info for the blog and M-Power. Sorry guys, not trying to push anyones stuff, I just know that I have been a lost puppy in the fitness world who used to think that if I worked out that day I could stop at MCDonalds on the way home for a burger :)…don’t laugh…I’m sure there a lot more of me out there that don’t or didn’t have a clue until people like Jon came along. Know I have a clue and learn more and more everytime I log on here….THANKS!!
Posted on Nov 01, 2005 10:04 AM
Jon Benson said:
Hi All;
Sarah, don’t worry about “pushing” anything. This group is about stuff that works, and things other than my stuff works. Heck, I push Tom’s book myself!
There’s a whole gob of ex-Sarah’s out there, believe me. Consistency is something I see little of, and it’s all (really, all, promise) due to one of two things:
1. People eat what they dislike and try to keep eating it.
2. People do not have a sound strategy for long-term lifestyle fat burning which includes whole foods and sound expectations.
Both of these are covered in everything I personally do, as any other road is a trip to Disaster City, capital of the lousy state of Depression.
Posted on Nov 01, 2005 10:19 AM
anna said:
good morning jon
i have just read your blog about master meals and took upon myself to calculate all my caloric intake and my TDEE and i came to the conclusion that my metabolic rate is probably shut down. I have not been eating enough to see any consistent fat loss.
I would like to take this opportunity (look at me being all serious and all..)to thank you from the bottom of my heart for opening my eyes.
I wrote down everything that i will eat today and it turns out that i am missing around 332 calories from my eating schedule. I am going to have to make some major adjustments if i want to really see some results here.
It turned out that my daily caloric intake (factoring in my exercise) should be 2027.5 per day, minus the 700 reduction in calories for fat loss ( I know that the standard is 500 but i took a bit more)so I am left with 1327 calories per day divide that by 4 meals it gave me 332 calories per meal.
do you think that this is a good schedule or do you think that maybe i should change something here.
any advice will be greatly appreciated.
And I really don’t care for your qualifications like other people because from what I see you are a smart smart men and on top of that you are funny.
Thanks a lot
Posted on Nov 01, 2005 11:07 AM
Geoff said:
Hi Jon
I know you’ve said that you don’t want to make this a mega Q&A session but I have a query on water intake, so here goes… I am a helicopter pilot and occasionally have to stay in the aircraft for around 4 hours. It’s a light helicopter so there are no toilet facilities on board and as I’m the wrong side of 50 my bladder is not as “stretchy” as it was. Thus I daren’t imbibe much in the way of fluids for an hour or so before the flight otherwise I’ll be crossing my legs way before the 4 hour mark is up. If I then have to carry out another 4 hour flight in the afternoon following an hour or so for lunch I could actually spend around 9-10 hours with very little fluid (water) intake. My question is…… what’s more important? The quantity consumed or consistently drinking over a period of time, ie; should I just drink the days allocation in one big swig in the early morning followed by an even bigger one at the end of the day and put up with the bloated feeling? Or is it best to reduce the amount of water for that day and try to make up for it the following day? Sorry to discuss my toiletry habits in public on your blog site – it’s not something us stiff upper-lipped Brits generally do! BTW if you do visit London don’t do it in the summer – it gets full of American tourists!
Cheers, Geoff
Posted on Nov 01, 2005 11:26 AM
Alicia said:
Ok Mr. Internet Marketing “King”…
Is the MasterMeals program incorporated into the MPower Series or are they sold seperately?
Probably a dumb question to ask the “King” huh? ;-)
Posted on Nov 01, 2005 12:50 PM
anna said:
hi jon
while on tredmill i have realized that i have miscalculated my things so I will be right back with the new ones
Posted on Nov 01, 2005 02:50 PM
anna said:
hi
My TDEE worked out to be 2307.33 per day
minus the 700 calories = 1607.33 per day
For four meals it turns out that i will have to eat 401.8 calories (that is a lot) so for five meals it turns out to be 321.66 calories per meal (that is a bit better) but i don’t know how i can eat 5 meals with so many calories in them
Please advice
Posted on Nov 01, 2005 02:58 PM
Jon Benson said:
To Geoff:
You crazy Brit, you…
Well, other than holding…nah. Besides, it doesn’t work that way. Here’s what you do. Gradually increase your water, and then when you have 3-4 days off increase it a lot. Get your system used to it slowly. After you drink a lot of water and your kidneys kick back in, you will not be paying a visit to the portapotty so much.
To Alica:
“King”? I’m curious where you found ‘that’ reference about me from me! Hell, if I were a marketing king, I’d probably not have written this blog. Only the really smart or the really stupid will order. Heh. Still, it’s fun.
M-Power comes with the MasterMeals plan included and is far more extensive (48 weeks of audio coaching plus a gazillion dollars in bonuses. Oh, okay…it’s like $800ish, but really cool.)
MasterMeals is something that folks who still are not convinced that the mind is where it’s at start with (or who simply have to save some bucks, which is more understandable by far.) It’s the nutrition/fitness plan/e-coaching bonus that comes with 6 free weeks of M-Power.
To Anna:
Can you be a tad more specific?
Kidding.
Let me tell you this: if ANYONE out there is counting calories to two decimal points, bend over and spank yourself in public.
It’s not an exact science…trust me. : )
Start with 250 calories per meal, which is ‘nothing’. Consider that a tablespoon of coconut oil is 120 calories, for example. Consume 1/3 of each macro for starters, as you can eat more fat and not eat so much bulk. Add 25 calories per week or so and see how you do.
Posted on Nov 01, 2005 03:22 PM
Jon Benson said:
To All:
Someone had better laugh at my Beetlejuice quote…it took me an hour to freakin’ find it on the web AND I DEMAND RESPECT!!
I mean, hmmm…yeah. Scratch all that. Have a nice day.
Blog coming up after I eat and shave my privates.
(I work part-time as a military barber…what did you THINK I meant, you…you….freak!)
Jon
P.S. Hey, just because I’m funny doesn’t mean this stuff isn’t serious. It is, but part of my gig is to make it a lot of fun as well. It should be, don’t you think? People take themselves too damn serious. Except me.
I NEVER TAKE MYSELF SERIOUS. NEVER!!!
: )
Posted on Nov 01, 2005 03:25 PM
Alicia said:
“Someone had better laugh at my Beetlejuice quote…it took me an hour to freakin’ find it on the web AND I DEMAND RESPECT!!”
Now that made me actually laugh out loud. I was being facetious with the word “King”… I was going to use “Monger” but you said to keep it nice around here. hehe j/k
Let’s just say my curiousity is peeked regarding MPower much more so than it was before ever visiting here… that says something about this little blog of yours.
Posted on Nov 01, 2005 03:50 PM
Jon Benson said:
To Alicia:
I’m irresitable, isn’t me?
Funny thing is M-Power is pretty light-hearted but really freakin’ deep and serious in places. This blog was not created to sell it…we do a good job of that by itself, but rather to build a following and a presence that wasn’t so “Hey, Joe Buck Here, and Check Out Today’s SUPER HALF-OFF SLICE AND DICED SUPER-SPECIAL!!!” You know, all white teeth with no gaps, or even lines between? Yeah, him.
I’m good at internet marketing, but it kinda sucks (like most trainers, diet books, fat, and everything else I’ve ranted on over the past 16.5 days…heh. And I’m an OPTIMIST! : )
However, it “more” than kinda works, and if you have a great product, sell it anyway you can. Period. No argument from any camp on that. If I ever write a book that is below standard, I’ll scrap it before selling it despite the fact that you can blow out thousands with a good list.
No crap. None. Nada. 100% excellence, or nothing.
Here at Benson Central, we do things the old-fashioned way: we steal stuff, blame the black man, and vote for flat taxes.
No, NO…no…we don’t do that.
Just don’t expect stand-up on M-Power. More “Tony Robbins meets Bill Philips”, as more than one person has told me. Actually, more like 100. I guess Tony and I have simliar styles, and that’s okay by me as he’s a killer coach.
Can’t say much for his workouts, though… : )
Posted on Nov 01, 2005 04:06 PM
anna said:
jon
thanks a bunch and i mean really thank you but if you could just tell me how many calories all together should i have.
(I am 5.7 in hight and currently at 158 lbs)or how many meals should i have or should i just (like you said it)eat when I ma hungry (although i have a feeling that this would be considerably on a low frequency)
I understand that i am probably pushing here a bit (foregive me) but if you wouldn’t mind I will will bow with appreciation :)
Posted on Nov 01, 2005 04:09 PM
Luke said:
Anna
Maybe I can help you out a little bit. If as Jon said you go with 250 calories per meal, 5 times a day, that would be 1250 calories total. Probably a good place to start. From here, simply eat 1/3 of your calories from protein, 1/3 from carbs, and 1/3 from fat. Thus your per meal averages (250 calories) would be approx 83 calories from fat, 83 calories from protein, and 83 calories from carbs. This equates to 20g of protein, 20g of carbs, and 9g of fat per meal. Do that 5 times in a day and you’ll be well on your way. As Jon said, you might need to gradually increase your calories as you experiment and understand your bodies requirements. Good luck!
Jon: Like you said, calorie counting isn’t a science, but this should save you some time!
Posted on Nov 01, 2005 04:30 PM
Alicia said:
“but rather to build a following and a presence that wasn’t so “Hey, Joe Buck Here, and Check Out Today’s SUPER HALF-OFF SLICE AND DICED SUPER-SPECIAL!!!””
You mean like those ezines and newsletters somepeople have? ;-)
I know NLP works. Tony Robbins is a Marketing Guru. Most of his stuff is a little NLP mixed in with a lot of fluff. He ropes you in to purchase more, more and more of his books, tapes, seminars etc. I’m looking for a lot of NLP and little fluff.
Posted on Nov 01, 2005 04:51 PM
Alicia said:
Actually NO fluff would be better but I know a guy’s gotta make a living.
Posted on Nov 01, 2005 04:52 PM
anna said:
Thank you so much,Luke.
that clarifies things for me.
I don’t know if there are many people out there (probably are)like me not getting enough calories in a day. that is why when i started calculating all my numbers i was in shock thinking how can i eat so much. as it is i am a bit scare that for some reason it is all in my head that i shouln’t eat so much (even the 1250 calories). I have to work hard to reprogram my brain to think otherwise. all of the people in this blog cannot be wrong :)
Thanks again Luke
Posted on Nov 01, 2005 09:31 PM
Joe said:
Hi Jon, again thanks for the shoulder suggestions…feels better already!
Also, tried a variation on your tuna sandwich today..(I’m also a fan of coconut oil)..it was great!
..and one last comment for the day: like many here, I enjoy your humor. Today, the one: “The darn thing is more flexible than teenagers from Romania” had me laughing out loud. In my book, laughter is another essential ingredient to a healthy life. Thanks.
Posted on Nov 02, 2005 03:26 AM
Jon Benson said:
You’re welcome Joe…amazing how cool those exercises are, eh? You can also try looking at Lauren Muney’s “PhysicalMind.com” site. I believe she has some shoulder suggestions. She was helpful with mine as well.
I’m setting a goal to be the world’s greatest “fitness humorist.” Perhaps the ONLY fitness humorist. It’s great for the soul, and people need to laugh to release a lot of the stress that this very serious subject can induce. Thanks for appreciating it!
Posted on Nov 02, 2005 11:16 AM
Jon Benson said:
To Alica:
Fluff. Well, I could do without it myself. On the other hand, I’m not 80%, I’m 20%. You know the 80/20 deal.
Part of life. I can actually enjoy the ‘art of the fluff’, I suppose. I create very effective sales copy, but I have an even more effective ‘product’. I spend more hours a day doing this than writing fluff…and none of this is fluff. It’s humor (brutal at times) mixed with a lot of heart, passion, knowledge and experience.
Frankly, most people would charge a monthly fee. I had thousands of subscribers to this blog in less than 2 days.
But this is not about fluff or making bucks…this is really a fun, productive and informative ‘test’. I wanted to see something:
1. Can humor and fitness blend together in a way that highlights a side of myself that’s kinda fun to hang around?
2. Can people take the ‘straight dope’ rather than the BS and the perfect person myth?
3. How many times can I reference pop music and keep it clever…on a fitness blog?
4. How can I literally inspire hundreds and thousands of people without asking for money ‘for’ that inspiration, but while still earning trust, loyalty and a very “family-like” customer base?
That’s the underlying reasons behind most all of what I do. 10 in 10 is just a great vehicle for all those ideas; and of course the mantra and truth I preach and live by: 1 pound of fat per week and you’re golden.
NLP: I’m an L. Meaning I dig the neuro, understand the programming, but really enjoy the “linguistic” part of the process the most.
Words create worlds. I wrote that in Fit Over 40, and it was meant to be more than a touch of poetry.
So, fluff helps pad the fall most people will take when they buy something. They’ve been so conditioned to expect a fall that even a product with multiple harnesses and support rails needs the fluff to give the 80% the warm-and-fuzzies.
I make no apologies. And I’m 40 freakin’ times more honest and blunt on 10 than anyone I know in this business.
I’m either a total megalomaniacal idiot or someone you can trust and perhaps should listen to.
You decide, my friend.
Posted on Nov 03, 2005 12:32 AM
Gypsi said:
I do not like the “fluff” either.. can be very confusing. I preffer the straight talk.. harsh or not… this is just me tho.. truth is better then sugar coatings…
Posted on Nov 10, 2005 09:18 PM
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