New beginnings
Well my happy 10ers — “tenors” if you can actually sing — are you ready for round 2?
From what I can see, a lot of you made some excellent progress during the first 10 in 10 Challenge. Let’s do it again, shall we? After all, it was so much fun the first time around, right? Right?
RIGHT??
That’s better. Punk. Don’t urinate me off on day 1 of the new 10 or I’ll molest your puppies while you sleep.
Not really. Well…maybe. Are they cute?
Okay, here’s where Bingo is at: ready to begin again today by dumping carbs at night. After a few days of that, I will begin The Gap.
Since no one said, “Hey, Bingo…what’s this “Gap” thing you mentioned, and how, oh HOW, can I too have privy to the wisdom therein?”, I’ll just keep it to myself. That’s what you all get for not asking questions and sending me money.
Now you have to be nice, extra nice, to even get me to use the letters “g”, “a” or “p” in a single sentence.
Jacko poopy, I just did.
I’ll think of something else to punish you with. Perhaps an evil monkey? It works for Chris. Long story for fans of a certain (read: genius) show I enjoy. However, my evil monkey will be real, and possibly a carrier of some new virus made in God’s mercy to wipe out all of mankind in a matter of minutes.
And who’s to blame? You! You didn’t ask the right questions. So…like…there and stuff.
Okay, on to more useful information — and a possible CDC warning or two for good measure. Nice monkey, nice monkey.
“Oh, I know — no one here supports my dream to ride one of your kind, and that’s all the more reason to be pissed and do the Microbe Mambo on our Rummys. Eeeek….Eeeek Eeek oooooWHHHAAAAA HAAAA.”
(That last bit was Monkey for, “Please start in Washington D.C. and work your way west.” That will buy most of you some time.)
Oh, alright already — I’ll get OFF the monkey (ha) bit and get to my point. Maybe. Possibly. Probably. Who the f—k knows.
I’ve spent the last few days really just taking it easy a bit and hanging out with 20-somethings. It’s okay, I’m not dating them or anything — but Lauren has agreed to set me up with one of her hottie friends who is also free of STDs. Why? Well, because I’m like the coolest 40-year-old on the face of planet earth. Yeah.
(You should all visit JonnyLand sometime. It’s such a pretty, whimsical place to rest my weary mind.)
Lauren and Betty Jimmy.
What can I say? These are the youth, the youth, the youth of the nation. Hey, I’m cool if this is what the colleges are kicking out nowadays. Lauren is kin to my roommate (I’ll leave it at that) and a total sweetie — even though she’s young enough to like Dubya. Betty Jimmy is really a trip — he’s like my son younger brother or something, except he’s the guy that pays you a visit as your soul is spiraling either upward, downward, or off in all directions.
Yeah. He’s a dead guy…guy. Yah, swear to Bingo, he’s a mortician, or at least a soon-to-be mortician. I’m not sure about the logistics, but I know he hangs out with dead folk and pumps them full of embalming fluid and grosses out over the absurd amounts of adipose (fat) tissue found in just about everyone.
Ah, you knew I had a point.
He’s also gay, but I think he’s working through the phase.
Kidding. He’s a herm.
No, no, no…he’s like all hetero and normal and stuff. But please, call him “Betty” for me.
Great “kids”, although I act far more retarded than they do. This should scare everyone, especially waiters from Houston’s. Poor Gay Paul will never be the same after waiting on us — and I think Straight Paul (my roommate) is placing “desperately seeking roommate who acts like a human being” ads in every national newspaper as we speak.
Anyway, Betty’s Jimmy’s rather lengthy oral dissertations on the carving up of the dead got me thinking. (Naturally, you say.) Did you realize that plaque is found in babies and children? Look, I’m not trying to be sick or sad — a child’s death is horrible. My point is that our genes and our lifestyles are being passed down to our kiddos.
This is where “Scale The World” comes in. It will begin on the 6th, and all of you will receive multiple emails asking for your participation. This is free, but you have to spread it around like Hugh Grant spreads chlamydia — only in a non-gross and certainly less perverted medium.
Bottom line: you can do something about what you pass down. You may not change the genes right away, but you will eventually reprogram the cellular communication (long story) for your future generations, and also make a huge impact on your child’s immediate health (such as Type 2 Diabetes and hypertension.) These are ‘genes’, but they are highly suspect to our immediate lifestyles, especially as moms carry the future rugrats around as their husbands compliment their “glowing nature” in order to still have relations.
It’s a beautiful time, no? Well, I wouldn’t know — never been there. Someone tell me what it’s like to have a life, okay?
Now, if THIS doesn’t get you inspired (read: grossed out and horrified to the point of getting off your Rummys and moving forward with your personal 10 in 10 Challenge), I don’t know what will.
Other than the evil monkey.
Don’t think I won’t do it, either…eeekk hooHAAAA HAAA.
You don’t even want to know what I just said in Monkey. {10}
Archived in Just Jon.
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Comments (14)
Woody said:
Bingo Lives and has a real life as well =)
My Baseline Template to 10-in-10
Start January 2, 2006 End March 12, 2006
Last Meal 2-3 Hours before Bed
Lots of water throughout the day (Approx 1 Gallon)
Vitamins / Flax seed Oil
M-T-W-T-F-S-S Wake 7:00am
M-T-W-T-F Cardio 7:30am-8:45am 25 Miles a week (2006 - 1200 miles Quest)
M-T-W-T-F-S-S Eat 9:00am Oatmeal/Whey Protien/Splenda
M-T-W-T-F-S-S Eat 12:00pm Brown Rice/Peas/Mushrooms (Salmon or Shrimp or Turkey)
M-T-W-T-F-S-S Eat 3:00pm TurkeyBreast (2-3 oz) Sandwich (Whole Wheat, Mustard)
M-T-W-T-F-S-S Eat 6:00pm Lean Steak 2-4 oz with Brocolli/Califlower/Other
M-W-F Weights 7:30pm To keep LBM fully body progressive
M-T-W-T-F-S-S Eat 9:00pm Turkey Breast 2-5 oz with Brocolli/Califlower/Other
M-T-W-T-F-S-S Bed 11:00pm
Turkey Breast on hand at all times
Norbest Turkey Breast cooked on Showtime Rotissery
Lean Steak cooked on hand at all times
Brown Rice/Peas/Mushroom/Protien Mixure on hand at all times - Six Serving made at a time.
Ok I’ll bite - Whats GAP ?
Posted on Jan 03, 2006 02:34 PM
Lee said:
Actually, I’m an alto.
And I’m back from Hungary (we were snowed in for two days!).
AND I’ve got my translators waiting to scale their world auf deutsch. :)>
Posted on Jan 03, 2006 03:19 PM
Paul said:
Hey Jon.you have a life…if you had kids you just wouldn’t have so much time on your hands to blog and do all this fitness stuff you do..your life would have allot more fuzzy space in between your goals and objectives..and you would be fascinated,occupied with the raising of rug rats..it starts with the basics like feeding and changing diapers..then it progresses..you know with the training sort of stuff..ethics..you know what’s right and what’s wrong..people that have kids and can’t get beyond themselves will have a tough time. And btw you better be flexible.
Parenthood is great and I wouldn’t have missed it for the world..you’ll never be the same without them.
Guess I got off subject..been at disneyland for the last 4 days and getting a bit rummy..just ate a frozen cookie ith ice cream..510 cals..and lots of fat..but I’ll be home soon enough and back to my regular food..be flexible and remember fittness is a life long quest.
Bye,
Paul
Posted on Jan 03, 2006 05:45 PM
Tammy said:
Great to see your sense of humor back, Jon! Hope you brought in 2006 abundantly! I did indulge in some celebratory beverages and suprisingly felt NO after effects, unlike many of my fellow celebrites. Could that be because of my knowing my limits, despite getting quite buzzed? Also, just what are the specific effects of alcohol on one’s ability to build muscle and burn fat? What about the calories and fat retention? I know about the dehydration part and take care to remain hydrated. Is it better to not eat and save the calories for the alcohol if I would have a couple say once a week? Since the depression has lifted I am socializing much more, enjoying a drink here and there, lots of dancing and fighting off the men! I have been receiving so many complements and I am just not sure how to handle all of this! I know you really do have the same challenge with women, you’re not kidding me. I am very, very excited for the next 10 in 10 and for Scale the World! I have a long list of people to send the information to as I know from M-Power that it will be awesomely inspiring, educating, motivating and fun! Tough times never last but tough people do so hang in there, Jon and we are all here with you, as much as you are for us.
Posted on Jan 03, 2006 06:00 PM
Tammy said:
By the way, thank god Sherman is gone, which probably means Favre is, too. Too bad they won the last game as they won’t get as high of a draft pick. And Go Badgers!!
Posted on Jan 03, 2006 06:04 PM
anna said:
Happy New Year everybody!!
I am so glad that we are starting 10 in 10 again. My report is not that great considering all the staff that i had to go through. My new year’s resolution - enjoy healthy life style and don’t sweat the small staff…
I took a break from the gym for about 10 days or so and today started again slowly and also started on my eating with all the caloric intakes that are neccessary.
Funny thing happpend (talking about feet)- I went to a podietrist because my foot has been bothering me for a few months now but it is starting to get worse progressively.
I was told that i have Morton’s Neuroma between my 3rd and 4th toes.
Making the long story short it turns out that i will need surgery if i want to go back to normal. I am kind of sceptical and thought that maybe i should try acupancture to see if that helps.
Has anyone ever tried it?
Just wondering if anybody has any thoughts about it…
other than that all is good on my side of canada (and it is not even that cold) so no excuses this time.
My birthday is Feb 15 and i am going to be in the best shape of my life
Posted on Jan 03, 2006 10:00 PM
Jane said:
I’m going to join in this time round rather than just lurk (and I know I could have jumped in at any point last time…)
I’m measuring in kilos though so I’m actually aiming for 5 in 10 (5 kilos is about 11 lbs).
Posted on Jan 04, 2006 06:43 AM
Kristy said:
I wanna know what gap is too. And I’m an alto. I can sing tenor if I want though. Right now I’m working on planning my meals and workouts and sticking to my plan and I’m on day 3 of my 8 weeks of no deep-fried food.
Posted on Jan 04, 2006 09:44 AM
Trinity said:
What’s “the Gap”? I thought you bought clothes there.
(I am usually a tad baffled by your posts, but this one takes the cake!)
Speaking of cake, my eating is spiraling out of control again. I started out 10 in 10 so good - I released some fat, gained some muscle - but then a backslide. I can’t maintain that motivation where food is concerned. I can’t figure it out. I am keeping up the workouts though. Just one half to figure out.
I’m hoping a fresh start will help.
Let’s go 10ers … and because the Badgers were mentioned — congrats BUCKEYES! ;)
Posted on Jan 04, 2006 10:07 AM
Greg said:
Another 8-in-8! Yay!
Hope I can reach my goal this time, Jon. I promise to read the title of the page.
And I’m going to keep records, of everything. Felt a bit silly walking around the fitness scenter yesterday with a clipboard and pen (and a pedometer!), but I’m seein’ the wisdom of documenting progress. Now I have to apply the same principle to nutrition, as Woody teaches us. And I’m making a serious effort to avoid deep-fried foods as Kristy is doing, there’s just so much of it around!
I’m excited about Round 2, actually. If I can discard 10 in 10 I’ll be at my healthy goal weight (according to the AMA), and close to a reasonable BMI.
Posted on Jan 04, 2006 10:16 AM
Elisa said:
Hi all! It’s been awhile since I’ve posted. The end of the year was busy. I am a coach and a consultant so I had some client emergencies as well as a lot of reports to complete by year end.
Nevertheless, I maintained my momentum and my usual eating pattern with very few variations. I think the stress sort of kept me from over-indulging. I am one of those folks who can’t overeat when stressed - a blessing and a curse.
At any rate, I am 5 in 10! I have 5 more pounds to go. I lost an inch around the waist and dropped a pants size.
I also had some personal bests fitness wise. I am/have been training for a marathon which I will complete on 1/29 in Miami (speaking of heat). Monday was the longest run of my life - 20 miles! I actually felt ok afterwards. More than that, I felt so GRATEFUL. I gave my body a hug and thanked it. I am so happy to have a body that’s healthy enough to run, lift, bike and generally MOVE!
So many of you 10ers and OF COURSE Bingo really kept me going on those weeks when I felt like saying “this is just too hard”. But seeing the posts and the struggles and seeing everyone just keep coming back to shine another day has been inspiring. Plus, being able to go back to my Core and really draw on what motivates me has been such a blessing! Thank you BINGO!!
At any rate, enough about me, I will definitely be back for ding, ding round two of 10 in 10. Besides, I would miss Bingo’s crazy antics too much and the deep messages behind all of that humor. You are a gift to us all, Jon, truly.
YAY 10 in 10 and congrats to all of you. I am so pleased to be in the company of all of you “fat fighters”. I am creating my intentions now around 2006. May it be the beginning of the best life for all of you!
See you on the blogs……
Posted on Jan 04, 2006 12:11 PM
Mickey said:
Greg,
No way you should feel silly. Almost everyone at my gym uses workout cards. Recording your weights/resistance and reps lets you know when it’s time to increase. It can also help motivate you - “I did 9 reps last time, I’m going for more today.” (Only using good form, of course.) IMO, many of those who don’t track their workouts don’t challenge themselves enough. If I know I did 10 reps last time, I’m going to do at least that many today (barring illness or injury) or die trying . Just kidding, but not by much. When people don’t have their previous results staring them in the face it’s easier to quit too soon.
People who document their workouts make better progress. It’s the people who aren’t carrying clipboards that should feel silly for not making the most of their workouts.
End of sermon. Can I get a Hallelujah? :-)
Posted on Jan 04, 2006 12:35 PM
Greg said:
Thanks for the encouragement, Mickey. I shoulda stuck a “smiley” emoticon in my post after I said I feel silly :) carrying around a clipboard…what I really mean is that I’m probably supposed to feel silly by phytness-center societal standards.
But I don’t. I’ve quickly come to discover that if I were to worry about how I appear (or think I appear) to the professional gym-rats, I’d feel all inadequate and stuff and give up right away. Maybe some day I can stand in front of that wall-sized mirror over in the free-weight zone and admire myself while I curl 40s and make monkey-faces; for now I’ll concentrate on pushing myself just a little harder each session and making some real improvements.
Posted on Jan 04, 2006 12:47 PM
Mickey said:
“Maybe some day I can stand in front of that wall-sized mirror over in the free-weight zone and admire myself while I curl 40s and make monkey-faces;…”
People like that are the reason it’s hard for me to convince women that the mirrors are for checking your form - your form while doing the exercise - not your bodily form. :-D
“…for now I’ll concentrate on pushing myself just a little harder each session and making some real improvements.”
Good for you, Greg. That’s exactly how you’ll reach your goals.
Posted on Jan 04, 2006 03:51 PM
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