So, I don’t have much to say tonight — other than I am looking forward to reframing tomorrow, getting back in the gym, and cranking up the fat-burning furnace once again.

I’m also in mourning over my dear, dear Cowboys — what the farg? First the Colts lose, then we get beat like O.J.’s 27 girlfriends by Washington. It’s a freakin’ conspiracy, I tell ya.

Okay, I’ll tell you one quick thing that may just save your life…just a mild snack until tomorrow.

Ask your doc to run an “apoB” test.

First, he or she will look at you like your nuts as he or she dives for his or her medical dictionary. At least that’s been the case with most of my doctors.

Don’t forget what they call the guy who graduates dead last in his class at med school…

….doctor.

Scary, huh?

Anyhoo…that little test may just save your Rummy — that is if (and this is a huge if) cholesterol actually means anything. I’m not 100% convinced, but then again I think aliens walk among us, the Cowboys will win the Super Bowl again in my lifetime, and Claire Forlani has found this site and fantasizes about me nightly.

In short, my world is a happy place. Reality should pay it a visit sometime…but it’s not really that welcome.

I’m probably closer than you think about that whole cholesterol bit, however. More and more research that more and more people will never see is being published that basically says, “Uhhh…maybe not…” about cholesterol scares.

Pfizer hates this, of course, but they’d sell you turpentine if you’d drink it. Farg ‘em.

Yeah, they make some good stuff, as do most pharmies. But they’re still minions of the evil underlords, and primarily have the function of sucking.

So, for all you docs putting people on statins (without CoQ-10?…are you nuts as well as dense?) whose total cholesterol is 204, listen up — it’s bullsheeba. We know that the majority (really) of people with heart disease have cholesterol levels under 200, so what are you trying to do? Kill us off? Make more room on the golf course?

Still, that apoB stuff — there might be something to it. I’ll go into detail later, but apoB (apolipoprotein B) is a nasty protein found within cholesterol. No, you need not fear dietary protein. That’s a different animal.

apoB is measured accurately by a simple blood test. You don’t need to donate a kidney or anything, unless you really wanna. If that’s the case, please log off now and join the Nun Club.

Yet another test your doc probably doesn’t know about is a VAP. A VAP test measures your sub-fractional LDL. The larger, the better — and folks with small LDL often have high triglycerides and, low and behold, jacked-off-the-chart apoB. It’s now theorized that apoB is a stronger indicator of “actual” heart disease potential than HDL, LDL, triglycerides and all other markers combined, at least according to one recent study.

Now, here’s the interesting part — statins do very little to apoB, but plain old niacin, in the form of nicotinic acid, works wonders. Niacin also lowers total cholesterol, raises HDL, increases LDL density (makes it large and fluffy, like John MacMadden’s head), and lowers trigs, all at the same time.

All for $4 a bottle.

No wonder you’ve never heard of apoB…they’re still trying to make a nice high-priced, insurance-happy statin that will affect it. That’s my guess, and I’m entitled to it.

apoB is also affected by fat in the diet — but get this: low-fat diets can increase apoB. This is one of those times when a low-fat diet can literally kill you. Diets under about 25% fat or so are deadly for people with small LDL or apoB, if indeed either are deadly.

I’m going to play it somewhat safe and say, if anything, these two elements of cholesterol “are” dangerous and should be treated naturally if at all possible.

More later — I’m sure you’re curious. Oh, and by the way: I have a Christmas present for you guys.

Two, if you count Scale The World kicking off in less than a week. {10}