Everyone this side of Vulcan was telling me this girl was the bastard child of that brat from The Omen, but the heart has reasons that reason knows not of.

I didn’t write that…some other poet-type did.

Delicate mate;
Fragile bonds, never broken.
Mended hearts in a miracle dance
Welcome now this duet of souls.

I did write that…so paws off or I’ll sue.

By golly, the witty brute and self-appointed “Fitness Humorist King” actually has a tender side. I was even up for poet of the year once. I think I would have one a free hat and a bowl of soup, but just think of the perks.

No, please…think of them. Then email me, ‘cause I can’t think of a single one.

Jon, get to the point for cryin’ out…hey, that poetry isn’t bad man! I know that’s what you’re thinking. I planted bugs in your ears last night, just like Khan did to Chekov and that other dude who wasn’t named after a famous playwrite in Star Trek II. Same Khan-like plot really…well, my bugs are more like transceivers, my chest is real, and I’ve never worked with midgets professionally.

Here’s my point, Mr. and Mrs. I’M IN A HURRY…get fit, get lean, drop that fat like a redneck drops out of junior high, but for the sake of all that’s sane, do not do this for love.

Yes, you’ll look better. Yes, you’ll feel better. And, yes, you’ll probably either (a) be more attractive for your mate; or (b) land chicks or hunks like the QB on prom night if that’s your gig. It just won’t buy you love.

One step further: don’t do it for someone you love because they want you to. I’ve asked others to do it and what a schmucky thing THAT turned out to be. Oh, I’m smooth…but I knew on the inside.

The Spawn of Satan Girl mentioned above?…yeah, her. She was the same way with me. I was already in good shape of course, but “not healthy enough” for her liking. The pressure was both Karma and Hell combined.

I learned my lesson, now I’m preaching it to you…do this for yourself.

I’m 100% behind someone doing it for the love of family. I encourage my clients to look at their children and think of the example they’re setting. Think of how Junior talks about daddy in the classroom. “He’s a mean old fatty-watty” is not what you want to find out the going rumor is as relayed to you by Ms. Tessmocker during Parent’s Night. That’s Junior’s 2nd grade teacher, and assistant to Lex Luthor.

Do it because you want to give your family a wonderful treasure; the full expression of love for your self. It’s a wonderful gift. Hey, do it because you want to give your future spouse the best “you” possible. That’s cool…it’s on my attraction statement list.

Just don’t deceive yourself into thinking a better body will get you a better love life. A better ‘life’, yes…but love is a crazy thing.

Sometimes, you know, you just…I dunno…you feel like a part of you is dy….

DAMN YOU 10 CC!!

(Workout was a repeat of last week’s training…muscles are stronger and already coming back to life. Yea me!)

Thursday, November 3rd

My MasterMeal Plan

MM1: Organic beef cooked in organic beef broth with veggies only

MM2: Chicken And Rice

MM3: FullStrength Nutrition Shake *

MM4: Alternative Meal: 3 slices pizza

Click here to view my recipes.

* Yeah, yeah…I know, I know…I told you ‘real food’. Well, you know what? I dig this new nutrition shake by Shawn Phillips. You’ll never guess who designed the logo and brand…yep.

I was a designer for 14 years.

I’m really, really bored.

Anyhoo, Shawn was kind enough to send me a box which I kept unopened for months. Then one day I tried it (didn’t want to ruin the portfolio piece, you know, but hunger rules.)

Freakin’ awesome stuff.

The major protein and relatively limited carbs makes it an ideal macronutrient split for me, and the taste is the best I’ve ever tried. Plus I know what Shawn put into this stuff. I even grilled him on “natural flavors.” His chemist answered the question to my liking. It’s REAL natural flavors (I’m sworn to secrecy, but it’s nothing you’ve never heard of.)

Top of the line in my book. No, don’t sell the stuff. Wish I did. I’m going to try. So, there you have it…I’ll be having at least a few a week now. Still, 95% whole food…and I would not have this if the protein wasn’t so hard-core. It took me a good 2.5-3 hours to get hungry again the first time I tried it and again today before my alternative meal (that was planned, by the way…and one reason I had the shake.)

Check it out at Full Strength Online. Tell Shawn that Jon…no, scratch that…”Agent Taylor from the FBI” referred you. That’ll grab his attention. Just don’t live on the stuff. Live on love. Remember: man cannot live on bread alone, mainly because bread sucks. {10}