Well, to me, there is no question here — this is a cop-out.

Hang with me. I’m not knocking faith, or rolling with the punches of life. I’m knocking the “meant to be” mindset…and for good reason.

A few weeks ago I was working on a project with a friend of mine. One of the computers we were using decided not to respond. “Well, it just isn’t meant to be…let’s move on.” That was his reply to the situation.

My reply was to reboot the computer.

What do you know. All of a sudden it must have been “meant to be.” The computer came back on, and we proceeded with our original plans.

My friend was not trying to be lazy by any stretch. In fact, this was his way of coping with disappointment in a constructive and positive way. The only problem is it was not the least bit accurate.

My world view may differ from your own. That’s fine. Who is to say who is correct, if anyone. But in my opinion there is no “meant to be.” There is only reality as we perceive it.

My stance is simple: if you have a time machine and can move ahead in time until the day you die, then and only then can you say X, Y or Z is not “meant to be.” Without that in place, you can only say, “It is not meant to be at this exact moment,” which to me doesn’t do much good other than to state the obvious.

You also relinquish a bit of your personal management over the situation by assuming something is out of your sphere of influence when, in fact, it may be totally within your power. The computer example I gave above is an ideal illustration of this.

What’s my beef? Simple. I say take responsibility before taking the “meant to be” route. Ask yourself if you’ve done all that you can do before assuming the universe or a higher power has decided something for you. While this may indeed be the case (I’m not saying it never is), you may be jumping the gun. And, in fact, you may never know until days, months, or even years down the line.

“Not meant to be”, to me, is disempowering. It removes so much of our personal power. I prefer not to use the phrase. “I haven’t figured out how to make it happen yet” is more empowering. “Perhaps something better will come my way instead” is also a better way to look at events that do not turn out the way you plan.

Just remember — unless you can see the future, you cannot determine was was meant to be, or if anything at all is or was meant to be.

We can only determine our reactions to what is. That we can do for sure. That is our greatest responsibility.

Food for thought that was, perhaps, meant to be.

[jB]